Freedom Wing
by Piyo13
Summary: Humans used to think that aliens would come from outer space. One hundred years ago, they were proved wrong. With the founding of the Jaeger Program, humanity was able to live in peace. Now kaiju attacks are on the rise once more, and as Eren Jaeger finishes with training, he has to wonder if he's bitten off a bit more than he can chew.
1. First Impressions

_**Full summary:**__ Humans used to think that aliens would come from outer space. One hundred years ago, they were proved wrong. Emerging from the depths of the Pacific Ocean, kaiju wreaked havoc and drove humankind to the brink of extinction- that is, until human s took matters into their own hands. Cue the founding of the Jaeger Program. Using the jaegers, humanity was able to evacuate as far inland as they could, building walls during their retreat. But humans aren't the only adaptable species, and after decades of peace, kaiju are starting to find their way ever further inland. The Jaeger Program is on the rise once more, but as Eren Jaeger finishes with training, he has to wonder if he's bitten off a bit more than he can chew (he's told this is a common reaction for anyone working with Rivaille)._

((((((((((***************))))))))))

As Rivaille crashed to the ground, flipped over his opponent's leg and staring down the long red pole pointed squarely at his throat, he came to a realization. _This is the one._ There had been a few other recruits who had tried, briefly, to partner up with him and prove themselves worthy of being his co-pilot; after a quick trial, most were unable to return. But this one.

He had come back two times- no, three, this was his third round on the training mats with Rivaille- each time having improved. He didn't know how, or why- but he figured, if he trusted his instincts (and Rivaille always did, it had always- well, almost always- served him well), the two would soon exchange a neural handshake and he'd know.

Though, if he was honest, he still preferred talking to being in someone else's mind. There was something about the ability to keep information for yourself that Rivaille greatly appreciated about face-to-face conversation.

Speaking of face-to-face, Rivaille was abruptly brought back to the mat by bright green eyes and the softly murmured "That's two to two, now". Rivaille snorted, bringing his body up in a twisting motion, catching his opponent's pole in the movement and bringing his own to tap lightly on the other's head.

"Three-two, you shitty brat," he said, loosing his hold long enough for the other to regain his footing, before brutally launching him back to the mat.

"Four-two and I win. Again," Rivaille snorted, leaning his pole against the wall and pulling a clean cloth from the pocket of his pants. As he wiped his hands, he walked over to where Erwin was waiting, making a point to step over the fallen trainee, who was lying on his back, panting. Or he might have been groaning, Rivaille wasn't too sure (he nonetheless made a mental note to throw less strongly). Erwin raised a single brow in questioning.

"I want this one," Rivaille said, blunt as usual. Erwin's brow, if possible, rose higher.

"Rivaille, you realize that he is fresh out of training, and-"

"This one. Surely you felt it too. We have drift compatibility."

"You also had drift compatibility with the girl, didn't you?" It took Rivaille a second to realize who Erwin was talking about- the Oriental girl, the one who had gone four-four with Rivaille, humanity's strongest. Rivaille grunted, acknowledging Erwin's statement. "She is also the top of her class, if you insist on having a rookie as your co-pilot."

Rivaille snorted again. "He has more compatibility than her," he said. Erwin sighed.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Do you even know the kid's _name_, Rivaille?"

Rivaille opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again, realizing that Erwin was right. He'd sparred with the shitty excuse for a person three times, and he hadn't even bothered to learn his name. He huffed, deliberately inspecting his fingernails and more importantly avoiding Erwin's gaze.

"It's Eren. Eren Jaeger," Erwin supplied. Rivaille looked up at that.

"Jaeger, you say?" Erwin nodded.

Turning back to face the now empty mat, Rivaille allowed one of his rare smiles to show through. "Do you believe in fate, Erwin?"

"No," came the decisive reply.

"Me neither." Rivaille walked back to where he had left his pole, gripping it and giving it an experimental spin. "So," he said, turning to the group of potential candidates (unscreened; Rivaille had rejected the entire screened batch offhand), "Which of you fucks is up next?"

(((***)))

"…and then he flipped me over completely and I'm pretty sure I landed on my kidney because _fuck_ man, it still hurts. But there was a moment in the middle of our fight when he seemed a little out of it, and that _never_ happens with Rivaille. And then afterwards he went and talked with Commander Smith. So I'm kind of hoping this might be my big break, you know?" Eren ended, recounting his escapade against Rivaille to Armin and Mikasa, neither of whom seemed particularly interested in what was, as far as Eren was concerned, a definite highlight in his life.

"So you're really sure you want to become a pilot?" Mikasa asked, pushing her food around with her fork.

"More than anything," Eren replied around a mouthful of his own. Mikasa looked down at her plate, tugging at the scarf she wore.

"They're in the process of building GenVI jaegers, you know, if you just waited a bit we could-"

"We've been over this, Mikasa. I don't want to wait. Plus everyone says I'm drift compatible with that douche bag over there- " Eren flicked his fork at the nearby table, where Jean Kirschstein was sitting, "-and no way in _hell_ am I taking the chance that I might have to share my mind with that guy."

Armin actually looked up from the book he was reading at that. "You mean that the thought of sharing your mind with Corporal Rivaille doesn't?" At that, Eren stopped eating for a moment, and Mikasa's eyes flicked up to his face.

"I… well, I mean, it does, sort of. But not as much. I don't hate Rivaille. I _do_ hate that jerk though," Eren said.

"Hmm. You know they say that Rivaille once piloted a jaeger on his own for six hours?" Armin asked.

Eren nodded excitedly. "He's the only one to ever have done so! Although, he was a lot shorter than I imagined…"

"You've sparred with him twice before already. You didn't notice that before?"

"Well I mean I _did_ but it just really hit me today, you know?" Eren paused, looking mournfully at his empty plate. "Say, Mikasa. Are you going to eat that?" he asked, indicating her still uneaten food.

"Sasha has dibs," Mikasa said, pushing the plate a bit away and tucking her nose into her scarf. As if summoned, Sasha appeared then, sliding into the seat next to Mikasa. She was followed by Connie, Ymir, and Christa, and soon their table was full with lively chatter.

As he watched Sasha make short work of Mikasa's leftovers and begin to bother Armin about his ("I swear Sasha, I just eat slower than whatever species you are!"), Eren thought about his engagement with Rivaille earlier.

Sure, he'd had his ass handed to him and probably bruised a kidney, but… he hadn't imagined the connection, had he? For those few, brief moments before he knocked Rivaille down in which the two had seemed to come to an understanding of sorts, their motions flowing in synchronous opposition? He hadn't been the only to notice that, right? Eren sighed and sank deeper into his chair.

All he wanted was to get into a jaeger and kill the damn kaiju. No, not kill; obliterate the infernal creatures that had pushed humanity back to the brink of extinction. If he didn't get to pilot with Rivaille… he knew both Mikasa and Armin would pilot a GenVI with him, but neither was very drift compatible with him.

"_A kaiju has been sighted. Trainees please report to the standby area. Pilots and maintenance crew please report to the docking stations. Over." _The crackling intercom voice brought Eren out of his reverie, and launched him into action along with the rest of his companions.

As they made their way to the standby area, out of any possible danger that the docked jaeger could present, Eren felt a hand on his arm. Turning, he found himself looking down at Rivaille.

"Oi, shitty brat, you're coming with me. You'll probably be useless for today but it's always better to hedge our bets," he grumbled, letting go of Eren's arm and turning on one heel before proceeding to the elevators. After a moment's hesitation, Eren looked around for Mikasa and Armin, but both had gotten lost in the flood of people. Shrugging, Eren followed Rivaille.

(((((((((((((*****))))))))))))))

_Hello, readers. Lazy authoress here. I have elected to ignore official name spellings a umlauts for the duration of this fic.  
Also I will be uploading The Case of England soon, so worry not._


	2. Fight of the Garrison Rose

Eren followed Rivaille over to the elevator, noting offhand that Rivaille really did have a nice ass, before shaking his head to rid the thought, as he was _pretty sure_ it wasn't the appropriate time. Then again, when _was_ the appropriate time? Certainly not when he was alone in an elevator with the owner of said nice ass and-

Wait. He was alone. In an elevator. With Rivaille. Going up- and the only thing "up" were the docking stations.

"Holy shit," Eren breathed. Rivaille looked at him, his usually neutral expression marred by the slight raising of the left eyebrow.

"What?"

"I…" Eren gulped. "We're going to the docking stations?" Rivaille grunted and turned away, which Eren took to be a yes.

"Then… that means-" another gulp, "-that means I'm your co-pilot?" The look Rivaille turned on Eren could only be considered scathing.

"No. Until we're in the jaeger with our minds connected, you're nothing more than a shitty brat. And like I said, you'll only be more than useless today." Rivaille finished, turning once again to impassively stare at the elevator doors. Eren was left with about three seconds to pick up what little shreds of his dignity were laying around on the ground next to him (although he couldn't keep a grin off his face- _he was Rivaille's co-pilot…!_) before the elevator doors opened onto the command floor.

Now, as a trainee, of course Eren had been on the command floor before. When it was as empty as it was allowed to be, and Hanji's calculations left enough time between kaiju attacks for there to be training sessions there. Never were any trainees allowed onto the command floor when it was being used for actual _command._ And while Eren had figured that it was probably a place buzzing with noise and lights when it was actually fully functional, he had never imagined it to be quite so… _chaotic_.

"Oi, brat, c'mon," Rivaille called to him from several feet away, and Eren tore his gaze from the holographic images floating all around him to half-jog over. As he arrived, he noticed Commander Smith shoot Rivaille a look, the latter whom returned it with his usual blank face. "Who's up?" Rivaille asked.

"_Garrison Rose_. Pixis and Gustav want a turn," Commander Smith replied.

"_Garrison Rose?_ What is this, a Category 3?"

"Actually," said a voice from behind Eren, "it's a Category 4. And _bipedal._ So I'm really hoping that they can like, harvest some of its organs, right? Because just think of how awesome that would be, if we could actually do research on _Category 4_ kaiju organs! Maybe they'll be a different composition than the previous ones, and-"

"Brat, this is Hanji Zoë, resident kaiju freak. Hanji, this is Eren Jaeger- yeah, Jaegar- and he _might_ be _Freedom Wing_'s next co-pilot," Rivaille said, smoothly cutting across the talkative scientist's speech.

"Oh _ho!_" Hanji turned her bespectacled eyes onto Eren, and he has the most uncomfortable sensation of being examined. "So you're the one who went three rounds against our Rivaille here?" Eren settled for a nod. Hanji followed suit with a few nods of her own. "Alright, he's good to go," she said, turning to Rivaille, who scowled.

"No one asked your opinion, shitty glasses." Hanji laughed, then patted Eren once on the head before brushing past him, upturning a chair (that someone else was sitting on) and taking over the display.

Eren turned when he heard a chuckle. "Hanji can be a bit… eccentric at times. But she's brilliant, so we keep her," Commander Smith stated, by way of explanation.

"Sir! Permission to begin neural handshake!" Smith turned towards the sound of the voice, moving away and engaging a microphone.

"You watch the holograms, kid. They explain what's going on inside," Rivaille said, and Eren followed his gaze to the holograms on the right of Commander Smith.

"_Commencing neural handshake in 3… 2… 1… neural handshake initiated," _stated a computerized voice. Eren watched, fascinating by the moving currents across the holoscreen which showed, in real time, brainwaves moving and, eventually, merging. _"Neural handshake complete_," said the electronic voice. Eren wrenched his neck as the jaeger's arms began to move above his head and he turned to watch them- giant arms of metal moving smoothly as anything.

"_Garrison Rose_ is our biggest jaeger. She's quite something, I'll admit," Rivaille said. Eren glanced at him, and found him to be following the giant mecha's motions as well. "Of course, she's got nothing on _Freedom Wing_," Rivaille added, a trickle of pride creeping into his voice. Eren allowed his gaze to leave _Garrison Rose,_ scanning the other jaegers in the docking station in hopes of seeing _Freedom Wing_.

"Give it up, she's not here. She went in for a new paint job after- after the last fight."

Eren turned his gaze back to _Garrison Rose,_ thinking hard. There was a reason that Rivaille had needed a new co-pilot, and that reason had been_Freedom Wing_'s last mission. No one knew the details, of course; but rumor abounded. While it was almost a fact that Rivaille's last co-pilot had died (or at least incapacitated)- why else would he begin to search for someone else who was drift compatible?- the whole happenings- where, when, how- were sketchy at best. Before he could contemplate it further, two doors on the floor of the docking station slid open with a rumble.

"_Commencing drop sequence. Drop in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"_ The entire complex shuddered as the huge jaeger, her red double-engines glowing and whirring, slid downwards to the next level, out of sight. Eren turned towards a holoscreen that charted the jaeger's progress, watching as it was slid through a tunnel and towards a hatch on the other side of the wall, where elevators lifted it up to ground level.

"_Pixis to Smith, _Garrison Rose_ is officially ready for action._"

"Affirmative. The kaiju is south-southwest of your position by two miles. Category 4 bipedal, codename Sonny."

"_Sonny? Really? Who came up with that name?"_

"_It was Hanji, wasn't it?"_ said a different voice, who Eren assumed to be Gustav. "_I'll bet it was Hanji_."

Commander Smith stumbled a bit as Hanji roughly shoved him over, grabbing the microphone. "I don't see _you_ naming any kaiju, so until you get on that, I'll continue to name them whatever the hell I damn well want! Also, Pixis? Gustav? That one right there is our first bipedal Cat4, so please don't check for any pulses, okay? I want as much of that one to come back intact as possible- I've got a few hypotheses going, and if I'm right-"

"That's quite enough, Hanji," Smith said, taking the mic back. "Pixis, go kill that fucker."

"_Copy that."_

The next twenty minutes passed in a blur for Eren, who discovered (much to his surprise) that the command and maintenance teams were anything but quiet during jaeger fights (the mic was usually on standby, though, so as not to interfere with the pilots' actions), often screaming and cheering at the holographic projections and images coming in from _Garrison Rose_'s sensors.

Finally, the kaiju was brought down, its vaguely human mouth still dribbling glowing blue ammoniac slime. _Garrison Rose_ took a few steps back, and turned around. One of the many 'thorns' on its outer covering flipped up, revealing a- if Eren was correct- plasma cannon. As _Garrison Rose_fired a blast, everyone in the room broke into a wild cheer.

Well, everyone except Rivaille, who seemed as impassive as ever, and Hanji, who let out a wailing shriek, crying, before grabbing the mic and letting loose a string of cuss words that Eren had never even heard of before (and he was in the same squad as Ymir). Smith grappled for the mic, and Hanji fell to the ground, crying, "They killed Sonny! My Sonny! They blasted him apart and now we'll _never_ get any specimens! _How are you supposed to collect specimens when the entire damn kaiju is melted by a plasma cannon, huh?!_" Eren noted that most of the crew simply ignored her, as if used to it.

"Before you ask, yeah, she does this every time," Rivaille said, before putting his hands in his pockets and taking a few steps in Commander Smith's direction. He turned back to Eren, giving him a once over before saying, "Useless, as expected. You're dismissed, brat." Then he strode purposefully to Smith, leaving Eren to find his way back to the others (whom he found, worried sick, and receiving quite the telling off from, before explaining where he had gone, at which point Armin eased off but Mikasa scowled almost as deeply as Rivaille) (which led Eren to question when it was that he had started paying attention to the way in which Rivaille scowled) (he couldn't come up with a good answer).

(((***)))

_Garrison Rose_ had made it back safely, although her right arm was decently corroded, a good 4-meter chunk simply dissolved away. As soon as Pixis and Gustav disengaged and entered the command room, Hanji assaulted them.

"So I don't know if I got this right but- Sonny _bit_ you? And then the ammoniac slime started to burn through your plating but still if it was a bite, that makes me wonder, were the teeth hollow? Did you get a look by any chance? Or wait no maybe did it have to lick its lips before the bite? I wonder what its tongue looked like?"

"Hanji, with all due respect, we-"

Hanji's smile turned to a glare. "You vaporized most of Sonny's remains, I know. Which I why I have to ask you question, so if you'd start by answering that would be-"

"Hanji," Erwin said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you let them change, first? They might be a bit more willing to talk to you afterwards." Gustav nodded violently, sweat still dripping from his brow. Hanji threw her hands up in the air and stormed off, muttering obscenities to herself.

As the command station cleared off further and _Garrison Rose_ was hooked back into her dock, Erwin finally turned his full attention to Rivaille, who had been waiting not-very-patiently.

"Yes?"

"I want to run a practice. Soon. Tomorrow."

Erwin looked at Rivaille, searching his face. Rivaille knew that Erwin could say no. Erwin could do that, and assign him to work with any of the other candidates, and Rivaille would have no choice but to follow that order. But, he hoped-

"You've already brought him to the command station while it was active." Erwin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. "Tomorrow, 1400, directly after lunch. We'll give it a short test run."

It was all Rivaille could do to keep his trademark uncaring expression. He was finally going to be allowed back into his jaeger, bad memories be damned, _he was going to feel the resistance of his jeager again_-

"But Rivaille, I can't risk you. If either you or him brings the drift out of alignment, it's off, do you understand?"

Rivaille bit back a scowl. Trust Erwin to impose his shitty rules and regulations all over the place. But Rivaille nonetheless snapped smartly to attention, his fist over his heart.

"Sir yes sir!"


	3. Pre-Drift Happenings

The missive arrived after their morning theory class. Or, more correctly, it arrived _during_ morning theory class, but since by the time everyone found out what it was, only Armin was left to listen to the teacher (and even then only barely half-heartedly), Eren considered it to be the end of class.

The messenger, a young man with an engineering uniform, had stepped into the classroom after half a second's worth of wait for an answer to his knock. Luckily, Shadis had moved on to teach the newest batch of recruits, and their present teacher, Ness, had not been briefed about the protocol for "random person bursts into your classroom during a lecture on tactical formations".

"Jaeger, Eren?" asked the messenger. After a few seconds of stunned, pin-droppable silence, an elbow to the ribs from Armin made Eren slowly raise his hand.

"Here, sir."

"Great, here ya go," the messenger said, bounding over and handing Eren a folded square of blue paper. Eren accepted it, but, feeling the messenger's eyes on him, didn't open it. "You really _are_ fresh meat, aren'tcha?" he said at last, laughing to himself. "Welp, have fun while ya can, kiddo," he said, and bounded off again.

A few more seconds of stunned silence ensued. Ness began to clear his throat, a flustered look on his face, when Armin, curiosity almost palpable, asked Eren a touch too loudly what was in the message. Eren hurried to unfold the paper, his stomach doing a few nervous flips in the process (because damn, who folded paper like this?!). Once the note had been safely opened, an unfamiliar scrawl greeted him.

_Docking stations 2.0, 1400 hours. Lateness is inexcusable. –R  
P.S. No crumbs in the jaeger. CLEAN YOURSELF AFTER LUNCH._

Rivaille, apparently, folded paper like that.

"It's…" Before Eren could get any more words out, the note had been snatched from his hands, Armin quickly scanning it before passing it to Mikasa.

"Eren… 'docking stations 2.0' must be referring to the new stations- only GenVI are docked there, but they're not complete yet. Why would Rivaille-" and Eren abruptly wished his friend were less smart; he'd wanted to be the one to announce it to the class (he was a jaeger pilot now [probably], suck on _that,_ Jean!) "-summon you there?" But Armin had posed a good question, and it took Eren a few moments to connect the dots.

"No, not only GenVI. Rivaille mentioned yesterday that _Freedom Wing_ wasn't in the regular docks- she has to be in the new ones!" Eren couldn't contain his excitement any longer, and he practically bounced in his seat at the thought, a maniacal grin spread across his face. Mikasa handed the note back to him, inscrutable expression on her face. "This must mean we're going to give it a test run!"

"Give what a test run?" asked Connie abruptly, from the growing crowd of trainees that were trying to get a look at the strange blue note that was apparently important enough to interrupt a class for (_nothing_ interrupted class) (except kaiju attacks) (and Commander Smith on occasion) (but nothing else).

Eren's smile widened further. _"Freedom Wing_, of course," he said, looking at the note again. "Right after lunch."

"_Freedom Wing?_ Isn't that-"

"You're shitting us, Jaeger! No _way_ you're Corporal Rivaille's new co-pilot!"

"What?! Corporal Rivaille?!"

"So the suicidal idiot finally gets his chance, huh?"

Eren's shit-eating grin lessened slightly at that, and his brows furrowed lightly. "What was that, Jean?"

Jean shrugged. "I just don't know why you're so eager to go out there. In a jaeger or no, the survival rate is only- only-"

"Only 34 percent," Armin supplied. Eren shot him a glance. Armin lifted his shoulders a bit, as if asking sorry.

"Only 34 percent, right. I don't see why anyone would want that- also considering what happened to Corporal Rivaille's _last_ co-pilot-"

"No one knows what happened there! And being in a jaeger beats riding a metal unicorn around all day, any day!"

"Oi, don't diss the police mounts! They're five thousand times more comfortable than a jaeger!"

"Yeah, as if _you'd_ know," Eren scoffed. Jean rolled his eyes, ready to retort, when Mikasa cut him off.

"And they say you two have drift compatibility. Stop, please," she said, extending a hand to pull Eren's fist down and away from Jean's face. Jean only seemed even more livid than before, but he nonetheless back off, grumbling. A few seconds of tense silence followed (which, to his credit, Ness tried using to his advantage), before questions were thrown at Eren again, and he quickly regained his enthusiasm.

"So now you're actually going to pilot a jaeger? Wow…" said Christa, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Eren nodded, about to answer, but Ymir placed her hands on Christa's shoulders and spun her around. Her 'Christa, I can pilot a jaeger too, so you should marry me and not that jerk' was lost under Reiner's booming voice.

"Do you think we're allowed to come and watch?" he asked. Eren shrugged.

"Absolutely not!" Ness yelled from his desk, where he sat with his feet on a pile of papers, resignation falling off him in waves. "Only Jaeger is supposed to go. The rest of you have the normal physical conditioning after lunch." A collective groan rose up from the students. Luckily, the lunch bell rang right then, signifying to the trainees and shift one personnel that they were allowed into the cafeteria. The class bolted.

Eren, Armin, and Mikasa sat down at their usual table once their food was secured. Eren pulled the note out of his pocket and unfolded it once more, reading it over (not that he hadn't already memorized it or anything like that).

"You know how to get to the new docking stations, right?" Mikasa asked him, a touch of worry visible on her face.

"Of course I- oh well um. They're on the other side of the brass' offices, aren't they?" Both Armin and Mikasa shared the same look of half-pity and half-worry. "What?"

"Here, give me that," Armin said, grabbing the note (ignoring Eren's half-voiced, half-swallowed protest) and flipping it over. He pulled a pencil out of his pocket, and sketched a quick but surprisingly understandable map onto the back. "Good?"

Eren nodded in slight relief. "Thanks, Armin. You too, Mikasa."

"You realize what being a co-pilot means, right?" Eren looked at Mikasa oddly.

"Huh?"

"I mean…" Mikasa trailed off, gathering her thoughts. "I mean that he'll know _everything_. He'll see it. In the drift. Even… even memories you would rather not share," she ended with a pointed look.

"Oh." To be honest, Eren hadn't really thought of that at all. Of course it had crossed his mind about the neural handshake, and what that would entail, but he hadn't really… _thought_ about it. His stomach began to flip nervously again. What if Rivaille got repulsed by what he saw in Eren's thoughts…? Because if he was even more completely honest, Eren's dreams last night had been of the fluid fighting movements of a raven-haired man and a quite fantastic ass, and if Rivaille saw _that_…

And then of course there was the whole shebang with his mother. Which he'd really rather _not_ think about, he decided, shoving all those thoughts and emotions out of the forefront of his mind and focusing instead on his surroundings.

More people (in all likelihood led by Sasha after food) had joined their table, stopping Mikasa from asking more about Eren's mental state (although, when he thought about it, Mikasa had probably only meant the deal with his mother, not about Rivaille) (and for the record, no, there was no 'deal' about Rivaille) (he just happened to be pretty and have a nice ass was all).

At some point, word of Eren's summons had circulated around, because he soon found himself explaining (tenth time) that yes, he was most likely going to go pilot a jaeger with the Corporal, and no, he hadn't bribed anyone for it, and yes, yes he was sure he wanted to be a pilot. As Hannah shushed the person next to her in order to ask another question and Eren's stomach pulled another gymnastics move, his thoughts turned vaguely towards Rivaille and he wondered if humanity's strongest soldier was also, maybe, just a teensie bit nervous.

"Yeah, probably not," he muttered, giving up on trying to image what a nervous Rivaille looked like.

((***))

Humanity's strongest (stupid title; all he'd done was take over completely once P- once his former co-pilot had been incapacitated and finished the mission, really) was actually pacing the officer's lunchroom, refusing to ingest anything except his third cup of coffee for the day. Of course he wasn't _nervous_, it was just that he hadn't tried a drift in so long, and what if Erwin had been right? What if the Jaeger kid wasn't the right one?

What if Rivaille lost control in the drift, chased the rabbit like had happened last time, and he pulled the kid down with him?

His down-spiraling train of thought was derailed as the coffee cup was whisked from his hand, and replaced with a clear glass of orange fluid.

"I managed to find some orange juice," Hanji said, drinking what was left of Rivaille's coffee in one go. Rivaille stared at her, expressionless. _She took my coffee._ Hanji rolled her eyes. "Just drink the orange juice, Riri. It's rare enough as it is, and if you're so hyped up on caffeine you can't sit still and _eat_ the least you can do is drink a non-caffeinated beverage."

Rivaille grunted in response to Hanji's nickname, but drank the juice nonetheless, finding its silky sweetness refreshing after the bitter coffee. Not that he would ever willingly trade coffee for orange juice. Ever. He held out the glass to Hanji. "Finished."

"Good. Do you want a prize? Because I can get you some kaiju lice if you're interested. You know, we discovered recently that if we keep them soaked in ammonia, they can continue to live even after the death of the kaiju and the dissipation of its ammoniac slime. We're trying to see if a comparable pH would produce the same results, but it's been kind of hard to find anything even remotely as powerful as the kaiju slime, so I think we're gonna have to heavily concentrate some-"

"Hanji. I do not care," Rivaille said, face impassive except for to those few who knew how to read it (Hanji did, and she detected amusement). "And it's almost two, so I'm going to go wash up before the practice run." Having said that, Rivaille left Hanji with two empty cups and proceed to the washrooms, washing his hands and face thoroughly.

The big digital clock above the doorway read 13:55, and so Rivaille eschewed changing clothes, settling simply for retying his cravat over the button-down he wore. His boots clicked onto the docking station's floor at 13:59, and he had the presence of mind to look completely relaxed (though slightly impatient) as Eren Jaeger burst through the doors, panting, at 14:00.

"You're late," Rivaille said, and smile inwardly a bit at the look of sheer terror that flitted across the trainee's face. Rivaille pushed off from the wall upon which he was leaning, saying, "I'm kidding, brat." Jaeger's look of relief was almost equally comical, and Rivaille found himself glad for having trusted his instincts once again. "Now come on, let's get into our suits before Erwin finishes taking a shit or whatever the hell it is he's doing now instead of being here." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jaeger nod and begin to follow him. Although-

"Do your eyes really need to be on my ass, Jaeger?"

_No_, Rivaille thought. _His face now- now _that's _comical._ Rivaille even allowed himself to show a grin (not in the brat's direction, of course, he'd let him stick to admiring his ass).

Behind him, Eren Jaeger silently wished that dying of shame were an actual biological possibility, because at least then he would never be expected to look Corporal Rivaille in the eyes ever, ever again.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((*****************) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

1. Word kept trying to correct "Erwin taking a shit" to "Erwin taking a shot". Erwin... is there something you need to tell us?  
2. In my headcanon, Rivaille is a complete coffee addict. As you can probably tell.  
3. Please let me know of any grammar or spelling errors, yea? I'm my own beta and sometimes I miss stuff ^^;  
4. Longer chapter than I intended and I STILL didn't get to the part I wanted to, oops :D  
5. When I write, I tend to blog about it and ask for opinions a lot. , I can guarantee you will see posts tagged "freedom wing" and basically if you give me any input at all chances are it'll wind up in the story at some point so yeah~  
**6. This is kind of important: I update much, much, much faster on AO3, under the same username as here. This is because I write this story on a single document, and uploading from that format to AO3 is much easier than to FF. Currently, up to chapter 7 is posted there- however, I'm going to try and upload all the chapters up here to FF tonight. Just know that you'll probably get informed much, much faster over on AO3! ****I'm so sorry I'm a horrible person**


	4. Drifting

Rivaille led Eren to the changing rooms. They were spacious and spotless, with benches and ledges everywhere, and, right in the middle of the far wall, the piloting suits.

Eren drew in a quick breath at the sight. As a trainee, he had of course learned of the vital components of the piloting suits: the circuitry suit underlayer, the spinal cord attachment, the helmet, the hardened exoskeleton of the suit. Seeing it in person, however, was completely different, especially since the array before him was actually fully functional. Eren looked above the various glass panels, noting the labels- GENVI 1, GENVI 2, through to GENVI 5 and finally, FREEDOM WING.

Rivaille punched a few keys, and the glass under the last label slid open. Eren scooted closer, trying to take it all in. The circuitry suits were a dark smoke grey, the golden circuits running back and forth across the surface, occasional circles marking points where it was to be in direct contact with skin. The exoskeleton was a beautiful forest green, dark and smooth, with the fabric holding it all together even darker. On the front a pair of wings was emblazoned, one white, one blue.

Eren could have stood there for hours, just admiring the beauty and elegance of it all. _Could_ have. Had a circuitry suit not hit him full in the face, courtesy of Corporal Rivaille.

"Oi, brat, you can drool all over yourself later. Get into that first, it should be in your size," Rivaille grumbled, before turning around and beginning to strip.

Pulling the circuitry suit off his head, Eren was greeted with a half-naked Rivaille (luckily only half-naked from the waist up, and progressively less so as he pulled the suit up and over his shoulders), and the circuitry in Eren's brain _definitely_ hit some sort of road block, because it was at least a few seconds before Eren was able to turn around and begin donning his own suit.

Finished adjusting the skin-tight fabric so it sat comfortably, Eren turned back to Rivaille, finding him staring impassively. Eren gulped.

"What?"

Rivaille raised an eyebrow. "Nothing. You keep staring at me, so I figured I'd return the favor." Eren could actually _feel_ his ears turning red. "In any case, I asked them to make a suit to your specifications, so it should fit, if you'd care to get it on before we get old," Rivaille added, already lowering the chest piece to cover his own and strapping it into place.

Eren followed suit, and reveled in the fact that his suit did, in fact, fit perfectly. Once he had it completely on, he flexed a few times, feeling the hard armor shift lightly over his body. _Yeah, I could get used to this_, he thought. A tapping sound made him look towards the entrance.

"If you're _quite done_ admiring your own sad physique, it would be great if we could go actually get _in_ the jaeger," Rivaille said, before turning around and stalking off, helmet under one arm. The two wings on the back of the suit seemed almost to flutter with every characteristically light footstep Rivaille took. Eren once again hastened after him, wincing slightly as the heavy boots he wore clanked loudly against the metal grill of the boardwalk they were on. How Rivaille managed to walk so soundlessly, Eren could only guess.

Rivaille threw the doors open in front of him, entering a slightly smaller command station than the main one, where Commander Smith was waiting for him. Smith's face flashed into a small smile (directed at Rivaille- who knew why) as soon as he caught sight of Eren behind him. Commander Smith locked eyes with Eren and motioned towards the glass panels at the front of the room, and Eren took that as his signal to proceed there (for once, Rivaille followed _him_).

Looking out from the panel, he finally laid eyes on _Freedom Wing_.

"Wow," he whispered under his breath. The jaeger was huge, not at big as _Garrison Rose_, but still standing almost thirty meters, if Eren had to guess. She was the same shade of forest green as he and Rivaille's armor; on her chest, the double wings were crafted on with care. She was surprisingly slim for a jaeger, Eren noted, but somehow, it worked; the arms were longer than usual, and occasional silver glints showed through the dark green, but what struck Eren the most was that no central motor was easily identifiable. A series of unbroken, overlapping plates ran down the jaeger's stomach, leading to a thick black belt of metal just above the motorized hips. Sleek lines all around- no weapons were easily visible either, but that only promised a larger arsenal of surprise weaponry. Eren's eyes roamed back up, focusing on the wings- freedom's wings.

"Wow," Eren said again.

((***))

The look of awe on the brat's face was suitable, Rivaille thought, hiding a smile (Erwin was in the room), and turning his gaze out to _Freedom Wing_.

She had been under repairs for the better part of two years (had it really been that long?), ever since they had gone up against one of the first bipedal kaiju, a monster codenamed Colossus. It had been slow, and they should have been able to avoid it, but its mass was such that a single scrape had easily knocked out several of _Freedom Wing_'s motors, (and _where had the support squad been?_) and with their mobility cut, (_oh, right, engaged with another kaiju, with scales thicker than jaeger plating_) it was only a matter of time until-

"Center yourself, Rivaille," Erwin murmured, hand squeezing Rivaille's armored shoulder just enough to be felt. "We need you." Rivaille, knocked out of his flashback, took a deep breath, setting up his impassive mask again before nodding, brushing off Erwin's hand, and turning towards Eren.

"Hey, shitty brat, let's go drift, shall we?" he said. Eren nodded, face practically glowing with excitement (and all right, so _sue_ him, it was cute) (not that Rivaille would ever confess to that). He practically jumped down the next boardwalk, which brought them to the jaeger's head. The command and maintenance squads had filed in meanwhile, and from there on, things proceeded smoothly.

Rivaille took the left side, roughly pushing Eren towards the correct position. Metal attachments whirred, boots clicked into place, arms were strapped in, and finally, helmets were lowered. Rivaille took a deep breath, selecting carefully those memories he didn't want and pushing them out to the side. He glanced at Eren, who had a more concentrated look on his face (even if it was still a very _excited_ concentrated look). He was jittery, Rivaille could tell.

Well, wasn't everyone on their first go?

"Oi, Jaeger," Rivaille called. Eren's head snapped around. "Don't chase any rabbits, understood? Go with the drift. That's why it's called fucking 'drift', okay? Let yourself go, and you'll end up back here. Start chasing memories, and we're fucked." Rivaille saw Eren nod as the mics came to life.

"_Initiating drift sequence in 3… 2… 1… Neural handshake commence."_

Instantly, Rivaille felt the familiar whirl and pull, the disassociation with his body and the world, everything blurring to faded blue memories that were and weren't his own. He felt a panic that wasn't his own, and one that was his but only in memory. Memories began to solidify around him, but Rivaille was a fighter by nature; he fought his recollections away, forcibly following the drift of timespace, swimming in it.

And, quite suddenly, he was back in his jaeger, feeling the machinery around him as an extension _of_ him. And there, where Pe- where it was familiar, the consciousness of another.

A very disoriented, somewhat unstable other, but another nonetheless. _Oi, shitty brat_, Rivaille thought in that direction. After a moment, Eren did, in fact, turn to face him.

"How-"

_You're in my mind and vice versa, idiot. Consolidating your thoughts will bring them to the forefront and make them loud enough to hear, although _"-sometimes speech is easier."

"_Rivaille, are you mind-talking again? You know you're not supposed to,"_ said a voice over the comms. Rivaille rolled his eyes, thinking _jerks_ in Eren's direction, but ushering Mike that he most definitely wasn't, at all, out loud.

"Now just drop us onto the jaeger already so we can give her a little spin, we're at 100 percent and ready," Rivaille added. Eren was still staring at him with wide eyes. Rivaille scowled.

_Cut that out, brat, you'll set them on me. Mind-talking isn't allowed, _Rivaille though. _Or technically possible,_ he added, as an afterthought. Eren was about to nod, Rivaille could _feel_ it, but didn't at the last moment. Instead, he faced forward, taking in the complex communications panel. Then they felt a lurch, and _Freedom Wing_'s head connected to her body, a surge of mechanical information almost overwhelming Rivaille's mind.

He reveled in it.

Communicating his intentions not in words but in mental gesture, Rivaille began to lift his right arm, which was enveloped in hologram. Eren lifted his left, and as one they brought their arms together, a note of elation soaring through the drift as _Freedom Wing_ responded in kind, seeming to crack her knuckles.

Rivaille let out a happy sigh. He was in his jaeger again, after so long, and the drift was working, neither was shorting out, and the brat was acceptable, and-

"_Rivaille, Eren, how are you two feeling?_" said Erwin over the comms.

Rivaille reached over and pushed down his comm button. "Fucking brilliant," he stated with no inflection.

"I second what Rivaille said," Eren added from the other end of the control panel.

"_Good. Do you want to go out? There's no kaiju in the vicinity, but this _is_ a practice run, so if you want to practice I won't stop you."_

Rivaille met Eren's eyes. He felt a strong notion of "yes" that wasn't quite yet a word in his mind (that was a shock; Rivaille was the only one he knew who could mind-speak with words. Maybe this brat had potential after all?), and nodded. Hitting the mic again, he said, "Drop us."

They heard a whirr above them, and a few seconds later the command station moved out of their view as they dropped down, the fast-moving elevators and slides taking them quickly to the other side of the wall.

Rivaille's impassivity was shattered, his happiness too much to keep in. _Come on, Eren, let's give this beauty a run,_ he thought, and the two began to move their legs in unison.

_Freedom Wing_ coasted for several miles at a comfortable run, before her pilots turned her back toward home. As they gazed at the wall in the distance, Eren seized up.

Rivaille had just enough time to think, _fucking shit, _before memories not his own began to cross over the drift, becoming more solid and colored with every passing millisecond.

((((((((((((((((((******************)))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))

_Freedom Wing_ 's design is based off of Titan!Eren's, in case you guys were wondering ^^;;; (so that's what the head looks kind of like) I've done a few sketches, I might post them sometime if anyone's interested.

Also this chapter gave me SO MUCH TROUBLE I can't even.


	5. The Rabbit

_NO_, Rivaille shouted mentally,wrenching himself from the memories' grip. He pushed the comm button, opening a line with the command station.

"Baby brat's all tired, we're having a rest now," he said, struggling to hold his mind free from Eren's recollections. Gritting his teeth, Rivaille pulled a move he had done only once before, and reached far enough around (not in; in was dangerous, _in_ was the rabbit) Eren's mind that he felt two sensors and a feeling of drowning- but the jaeger was his and he brought her to a complete stop, waiting for-

"_Understood,"_ said Erwin's voice, and with that, Rivaille stopped fighting the current and drifted with it, almost stumbling into the young boy right before him. From his shock of brown hair and convenient placement, Rivaille assumed that this was Eren. He followed the child's line of sight, staring up at the wall. Or rather, Rivaille mused, the beast that was coming _through_ the wall.

Rivaille recognized the kaiju almost instantly. Category 4 quadruped (though this had been before the last distinction had been needed to be made), codename Chicacchironi (even back then, Hanji had been charged with names). The attack had been five years ago- one of Rivaille's earlier missions. He scanned the area, noting the jaegers in the area, and finally spotted _Freedom Wing_ in the distance. Yes, this had definitely been in the earlier days- she wasn't even spinning yet.

The ground lurched under Rivaille's feet, and he saw the young Eren running, screaming. Chasing after him as the solidity of the memories faded the further they grew from Eren, Rivaille finally caught up enough to hear what the young boy was saying. Rivaille felt a chill run down his spine.

"Momma! Momma!"

Oh.

_Yeah, this is definitely a good time to pull him out,_ Rivaille thought as Eren's cries grew more and more frantic as he reached a destroyed section of the city. Rivaille gritted his teeth, certain of the outcome, only to have it confirmed moment later, with screeching wails and desperate cries of 'mother'. Rivaille concentrated hard on his hand and reaching out to Eren.

It took him three tries before his willpower was enough to break through the memory and make physical contact.

The ten-year-old spun around, eyes wide and filled with tears. _He had the same eyes then as he does now,_ Rivaille thought to himself, before giving his head a shake and fixating Eren with his gaze.

_Listen, Eren, you have to stop. This is a memory. Just a memory, _Rivaille thought at Eren as hard as he could. For one terrifying moment, it seemed as though Eren was too far gone to even be able to hear him. _Just a memory, _he repeated. _You and I, we're co-pilots now. Aboard_Freedom Wing._ And listen here, you shitty brat, we don't have much time. Erwin and the others will notice if we don't answer for too long. We can't have that. _A note of desperation crept into Rivaille's think-voice. _I can't have that._

Then, determination. _Eren, I can't have you lose me my jaeger again. _The mere thought of being banned from _Freedom Wing_ again made Rivaille's blood run colder than it already was at the sight of Eren's past (a past Rivaille wished he could learn in some other way). _Eren. Eren fucking Jaeger you listen to me. This. Is. A. MEMORY!_ Rivaille threw everything he could muster at Eren with one last mental shout.

The boy in front of him blinked, once, twice, and Rivaille choked back a sob- he'd done it, they'd chased a rabbit, _Freedom Wing_ was no longer his- and prepared to go back to the jaeger proper and pilot her home. Then Eren blinked again, but when he reopened his eyes, they were different- older- and Rivaille watched, relief coursing through his body like the best drug on Earth, as Eren melted into his present self and screams and broken walls and dead bodies were replaced with whirrs and gears and metal struts of the jaeger.

Rivaille took a deep breath. She was still his.

((***))

Eren looked on, completely mortified, as Rivaille took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and allowing his features to fall back into their normal arrangement. He'd done it. He'd chased the rabbit. He'd done _exactly_ what Rivaille had told him not to do, and even brought Rivaille into his own memories, showed him things he hadn't wanted to see.

"Rivaille, I-"

_Shut up, you shitty brat. Erwin and command just think we stopped because you were tired. They don't know anything about the rabbit, and if you value your life, things will stay that way._ The glare accompanying those words lent weight to the threat. Eren gulped and nodded mutely.

"Good, you rested up then?" Rivaille asked aloud, his voice completely neutral.

"Yes," Eren murmured. Rivaille looked at him for a few seconds, before reaching out and hitting the comm button.

"_Freedom Wing_ to command, we're heading back. What's the word with kaiju?"

"_None that we can sense in your vicinity. There's a few that look like they'll arrive in a few hours, but nothing to worry about."_

"Copy that. Here, we go, brat," Rivaille said, sending Eren the urge to move his left leg. He did so, and soon the two found a rhythm, _Freedom Wing_ thundering over miles of plan outside the wall. The closer they arrived to the entrance hatch, however, the more Eren couldn't help but feel embarrassed. His first run in an actual jaeger, and he'd gone and blown it. And in front of Rivaille, no less, the soldier he'd looked up to for years.

Eren heard a soft sigh to his right.

_Eren, don't worry about it too much. Most rookies have some issues. Given your past, it's not surprising. We were just given a lot less leniency to work with here, and I had to make sure Erwin wouldn't take _Freedom Wing_ away from me again, not after such a short time. _Eren noted the strong emotions that accompanied the mind-spoken messages; anger, fear, relief, elation.

_I'm not holding anything against you,_ Rivaille added. Eren felt extremely relieved upon hearing that, and Rivaille snorted (in reaction to Eren's own relief, the drift connection told him).

Soon enough (or rather, not soon enough- Eren had underestimated the amount of power needed to lift and move the pedals for such a long time; the resistance was huge), their run was over, and_ Freedom Wing_ was loaded back into her docking station.

"_Neural handshake disengage in 3… 2… 1… neural handshake disengaged._" Eren reeled a bit, not having realized how much _more_ there had been in his mind until it was suddenly gone. The clasps around Eren and Rivaille's arms and boots opened with a click, followed a few seconds later by the whoosh of the jaeger doors as they opened onto the grilled boardwalk. Rivaille stepped gingerly off the foot pedals, and Eren followed rather clumsily behind.

Commander Smith greeted them, smiling. "How was the run?"

"Good," Rivaille grunted. Smith huffed and turned to Eren.

"For you? This was your first time in a jaeger, after all."

Seeing Rivaille look at him out of the corner of his and remembering the threat, Eren gulped a bit, but managed to push a sunny smile on his face. "It was wonderful; I really can't wait to go again." He wasn't lying- for all the trouble he had undoubtedly caused, when he was actually in his right mind, the feel of the mechanics around him, moving to he and Rivaille's combined will- yeah, that had been something (Rivaille's ass under the jaeger suit had also been something) (not that Eren had looked, of course).

"Coffee?" Rivaille asked, just as Hanji quite literally _burst_ through the doors of the command station.

"Helloooooo Rivaille and Eren! How was the run? Did you meet any kaiju? According to a few calculations I ran a while back, there should be several Category 3's coming soon, did you happen to see any while on your-"

"Coffee?" Rivaille repeated, looking disgruntled. Hanji rolled her eyes, handing Rivaille the cup she had been holding. "Coffee," he stated once more, before downing the creamy brown liquid in a few gulps. Both he and Eren shuddered at the same time (Eren thought coffee of any sort was too bitter; judging by Rivaille's 'what the sugary fuck kind of coffee is this?' comment, he thought whatever Hanji had given him too sweet).

The two bickered back and forth for a few moments, while Commander Smith directed the shutdown of the command station. Eren's eyelids drooped; he hadn't realized how much adrenaline had powered him through the return. Now the fatigue was catching up to him, both mental and physical, and he just _knew_ he was going to have sore muscles tomorrow- the brain was a muscle, right?-

-just in time for morning conditioning. Wonderful. He let out a small groan, starting when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go ahead and take the rest of the evening off?" said Commander Smith. "Jaegers are more exhausting than they're made out to be. Besides, your class has dinner in another hour, and I'm sure no one will mind if you skip the end of afternoon conditioning." Smith smiled kindly.

Eren nodded, grateful. "I think that would be great, sir," he said.

"Then go ahead, Rivaille will show you back to the locker rooms. We'll notify you next time we'd like to have you two practice, sound good?"

"Yes sir," Eren said, belatedly standing to attention (awkwardly, with his helmet under one arm).

"Get moving, shitty brat. Some of us have responsibilities other than loafing around all day." Eren nodded to Hanji as he passed her (she waved back enthusiastically), and followed Rivaille back to the locker rooms, where they both began to undress.

Eren, of course, couldn't help but peek at Rivaille. He was solid muscle and sinew, as far as Eren could tell- not that he had expected anything different, given that Rivaille was a pilot, and the best of the best at that. But still, seeing the rippling muscles in person was-

"Jaeger," Rivaille intoned. "Are you quite done yet?" Eren flushed, hurrying to change out of the circuitry suit.

"D- done with what, sir?" Rivaille raised an eyebrow at that.

"With changing. What else would I be waiting for? And since when have you called me 'sir'? I've been inside your fucked-up mind, shitty brat, the time for formalities was over a long time ago."

Eren flushed, if possible, even further. Nonetheless, he was soon in his normal clothes, and once again following Rivaille out the doors. This time, Rivaille led him to the barracks.

"I'll probably be calling on you at some point tomorrow- you have to learn _Freedom Wing_'s fighting style soon, you shitty brat" Rivaille said, turning on his heel and lifting a hand in goodbye, leaving a dumbstruck Eren to stare at the empty hallway before him, the words 'shitty brat' playing on repeat in his mind (okay so maybe there was a _small_ deal about Rivaille) (yes, that was a pun on his height).

(((((((((((((((((((((((((******************))))))) )))))))))))))))))))

Another chapter that _really_ wouldn't cooperate. Whatever.

Also, check this out guys: luciferwearsamwinchester tumblr post/57039091090/someday-i-will-learn-how-to-linea rt-properly  
This is what Eren looks like! (Albeit in forest green). (The art's not mine, obviously, you can tell by how good it is ^^)


	6. Post-Drift Happenings

_Fuck, and I didn't even get to apologize again, _Eren thought as he collapsed onto his bunk. He rolled onto his back, staring at the latticework holding the bed above his up, mentally comparing it to the structures holding _Freedom Wing_'s cockpit up. _Not very similar at all…_ was the last thing Eren could remember thinking before his exhaustion overcame him.

He awoke an hour later to the sounds of his roommates returning from afternoon conditioning. He had just enough time to blink blearily a few times before Armin, Connie, and Marco crowded around his bed, all asking questions at the same time. Behind them, Jean, Reiner, Berthold, and Franz were waiting a bit more patiently (Jean seemed rather annoyed, if truth be told).

Eren sat up, yawning, and said, "Alright alright geez, ask your questions one at a time so I can at least _understand_ what you guys are saying!"

"Did you actually pilot today?" Armin said rather quickly, beating the others. Eren nodded, a maniac grin returning to his face.

"_Freedom Wing_. For an hour or something. We even went outside the walls!" There was a collective gasp at that; trainees were _never_ allowed outside the walls- only trained pilots ready to fight (and kill) the kaiju were.

"_You_ went outside the walls?" said Jean, skeptically.

"Yeah, what about it?" Eren replied, feeling his pulse beginning to rise. Jean just snorted, and Connie took that as his chance.

"So you were really with Corporal Rivaille? You drifted with him? How _was_ that?"

"Of course I was with Ri- Corporal Rivaille. Who do you think I kept trying out with? And yeah, we drifted. It was…" Eren paused for a moment, willing his face not to flush as he recalled his embarrassing rabbit chase. "It was weird. Like… there's a _thing_ in your brain? I dunno. But it was so cool- you can feel all of the gears and stuff of the jaeger, and they feel like… like _part_ of you. And Rivaille can- er, I mean, he's just super-good at controlling the jaeger. And stuff. But damn, it's really exhausting; I think I need to train more."

"Wow," said, Armin, eyes copying the glow of Eren's. Eren nodded.

"And Rivaille even said he'd probably call me out of conditioning again tomorrow because he wants to work with me!" Alright, not technically true- Rivaille had said teach him how to fight, which was absurd, because (even though he was no match for Rivaille), Eren had not spent the last three years getting his butt kicked by Annie for nothing.

"That's so cool, Eren! Hey, when do you guys think we'll get to pilot jaegers?" Marco asked.

"Wait, I thought you wanted to come to the military police with me?" Jean asked, seeming slightly hurt.

"Well, yeah," Marco replied. "But we don't really get much choice, do we, if we're highly drift compatible with someone?"

"What do you-"

"He's right," interjected Reiner. "They put drift compatibility as priority number one, so even if you don't _want_ to pilot a jaeger, they'll make you if you're got a strong compatibility rating with someone else. I overheard Shadis telling Nanaba that it keeps getting harder to find people who are truly drift compatible."

"So yeah," finished Marco. "And besides, while I don't really want to go outside the walls, being a jaeger pilot sounds like it'd be so awesome…"

"Say, Eren?" asked Berthold.

"Yeah?"

"You were drift compatible with Corporal Rivaille, right? That's why he chose you, right?"

"Yeah, I think so." Eren furrowed his brow.

"How do you know if you're drift compatible with someone, then? What did it feel like?" All seven of them were quiet now, waiting for Eren as he collected his thoughts.

"I mean, it was really weird… the first two times I went to spar with him, it wasn't this way, but, the last time- yesterday- there was a moment when we were sparring, when I felt like I could almost tell where he was going. And I could tell where he was going to strike, and it seemed like he could tell where I was going to strike too, and so neither of us could land a hit…" Eren shook his head. "It was a very weird feeling."

The silence continued for a few seconds, before Connie broke it by saying, "Wow, and with Corporal Rivaille, too… that's way cool. What's he actually like, huh?" Eren opened his mouth to answer (short, really mean, ridiculously in shape, unfairly hot), but at that moment Thomas peered into the room, reminding them all that the dinner bell had rung. With the threat of food, all eight trainees quickly exchanged their sweaty clothes for clean ones and rushed down to the mess hall.

Of course, once there, Eren was interrogated again by all the girls, and the line of questioning on both parts was furthered (to the point where other people actually began answering Eren's questions for him).

Once dinner was over, Eren eschewed the recreation hour, choosing instead to go back to his room to sleep. As he wandered through the halls leading back to his room, he stopped paying attention to where he was going, absorbed in his recollections of earlier- specifically, the ones he hadn't told anyone- about watching, once again, oh-so-vividly, as his mother had been first crushed, then eaten by a kaiju.

Eren furrowed his brow. _Except no,_ he thought. He had only remembered up to her being crushed, before he had felt a hand on his shoulder- one that hadn't belonged in his memories.

Rivaille.

Now that Eren thought about it- he couldn't remember the jaeger coming to a stop, either. Had Rivaille done that? Piloted alone? If so, then he really was as strong as the rumors said… and the mindspeak. He hadn't mentioned that to anyone else either, remembering Rivaille's words:_technically not possible_.

If it wasn't possible, then how-

"Ow," Eren mumbled, picking himself up off the floor and looking at the obstacle that had been in his path. "Watch where you're-"

Said obstacle (of course, just his luck) stared back, slate grey eyes expressing pure disdain and annoyance.

"Oh. Rivaille. Uh, hi. I didn't- I wasn't paying attention, sorry."

"Shitty brat," Rivaille said, devoid of emotion. "I was looking for you."

((**))

After waving Eren goodbye, Rivaille had gone back to his own room. Alone.

It had been two years, and he still found the sensation of being the only one to open the door a weird one; especially now, coming back soaked in sweat from powering the jaeger. The two beds mocked him as he went to the bathroom, promptly stripping and putting his dirty clothes in a hamper.

The shower felt good, and Rivaille allowed himself a moment of pure relaxation, leaning his head against the back wall and letting the warm water pound onto his back.

_So the brat's mother was killed_. The scene had played in Rivaille's mind a few times more than he would have liked already- the screams of horror from young Eren echoed a bit too close to home for Rivaille's liking. And, of course, not to mention that he had been one of those tasked with eliminating those kaiju- and had failed. On epic proportions. That had been the largest loss of human life since the walls had been built- not to mention that they weren't even supposed to be able to fall.

Then again, so many things were like that, Rivaille mused, finally turning off the water and stepping out into a towel, and then clean clothes. Everyone believed everything to be permanent, until it was taken abruptly away from them.

Rivaille fell backwards into the bed closest to the wall, seeing the picture frame out of the corner of his eye. He quickly averted his eyes to the ceiling, before losing the battle with his own will and reaching out to grab it.

The picture had been one of the few they had ever taken together, and she had insisted upon it being framed, despite Rivaille's protests at the time. He had secretly been glad she had persisted. Especially- especially after.

He ran a thumb over the face next to his. Her strawberry blond hair was shoulder-length, and her cheery smile seemed to light up the whole picture. Next to her, Rivaille was turned a little bit aways from the camera, making it seem as though he had been looking at her. His face was neutral, but the crinkles at the corners of his eyes gave away the hidden smile.

"Yo. The new recruit, his name is Jaeger. His last name is, I mean. His first name's Eren. We took _Freedom Wing_ out for a spin today. She's been upgraded; you'd love it." Rivaille put the picture back onto the ledge above the headboard. "He's an okay pilot, actually. I was surprised. He's got nothing on you, though."

"Who's got nothing on me?" Rivaille spun around quickly, noticing Hanji standing in the doorway.

"The fuck, Hanji? How'd you even open the-" Hanji held up a ring of keys.

"I made a copy of yours a while ago," she said, smilingly smugly to herself.

"What, you don't even want to let me take a _shit_ in peace anymore?"

"Take as many shits as you like, Riri, but the fact remains that the dinner bell rang five minutes ago and you need to eat," she said, waving her hands around. Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Maybe if you eat enough, you'll grow more!"

Rivaille looked up from tying on his cravat _just_ to stare at her for that comment. She giggled, before reaching out to grab Rivaille's arm, and dragged him down to dinner.

At dinner, Rivaille was content to let Hanji ramble, though he occasionally entertained a question about how the run with Eren had gone (he never answered with more than ten words). He noted the unusually large gathering at the other end (the trainee end) of the mess hall, and wondered briefly what was happening, until he saw Jaeger.

Of course; the shitty brat was the first in his class to pilot, wasn't he? Rivaille tsk'ed.

"What?" Hanji asked around a mouthful of food. Rivaille looked in distaste at her dirty mouth. "You don't approve of all the attention your co-pilot's getting, hmm?"

"I'll pretend there was not further meaning to that than the superficial," Rivaille retorted, handing her a napkin, which she put down before using.

"Oh come _on_. You'd have to be completely _blind_ not to notice the way Eren stares at your ass." Rivaille stared. "Actually," Hanji considered, gulping another mouthful, "I'm not entirely sure that being blind would necessarily make it any harder to spot."

"Thank you, Hanji. I had no idea."

"You might want to consider glasses, then," she countered immediately, tapping her own and taking a swig of water.

"What, so then you won't be the only shitty glasses in the compound? No thanks."

Hanji rolled her eyes and (_finally_) cleaned her mouth. "Anyways, Riri, I have to go check up on a few experiments, so, if you'll excuse me, bye!" Rivaille watched her bolt over to the trash can with her tray, almost tripping twice in the process, before leaving the tray and running out of the mess hall. Rivaille finished his meal calmly, then went and threw his trash away as well.

Halfway back to his room, he decided that he wanted to go find Eren, if only to inform him about practice tomorrow. He decided to try the personal rooms first, then the rec room. As luck would have it, as he was turning a corner, his co-pilot quite literally ran into him, knocking himself to the floor.

"Ow," Eren said. "Watch where you're- oh. Rivaille. Uh, hi. I didn't- I wasn't paying attention, sorry."

"Shitty brat," Rivaille said, noting the brief look of guilt across Eren's face. "I was looking for you."

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((*********************** **)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Now would probably be a good time to post actual chapter titles, huh? Because FF's chapter title word limit is too short. Anyways,

First Impressions, or: Eren gets his ass handed to him and Rivaille chooses a co-pilot

Fight of the Garrison Rose, or: the eternal woes of Hanji Zoë, kaiju enthusiast

Pre-drift Happenings, or: Rivaille is actually an origami genius (but only Hanji knows) Drifting, or: all good things must end (some more spectacularly than others) The Rabbit, or: there's a reason traumatic events are called traumatizing, if you ask Rivaille Post-drift Happenings, or: reasons why Rivaille can never decide if Hanji is the best or creepiest friend ever (he's leaning towards creepiest)

I'm kind of proud of Chapter 3's title, actually ^^;


	7. Things

"Shitty brat, I was looking for you," Rivaille said, watching as Eren scrambled to his feet.

"You- you were?" Eren asked, tripping over his own tongue. Distastefully, Rivaille noted that Eren had a bit of dust coloring his pants. He reached forward and began to brush it off, his hand dragging forcefully down Eren's hip. It was only when he heard Eren's sharp intake of breath that Rivaille paused to think about just what he was doing (but damn, the dust wasn't giving up easily). Unsatisfied but grudgingly admitting his defeat in the face of lack of proper cleaning supplies (or at least, more proper than his _hand_) (which he promptly brushed against his own pants) he raised his gaze to meet Eren's flushed face.

Rivaille tsk'ed. Eren shook his head (_like a dog_, Rivaille thought), before asking, "Um, what for?"

"I'll be joining you and your classmates for morning conditioning tomorrow. Mostly you. I thought you could use the heads up."

"Oh! Uh, yeah. Thanks. But um, I meant to ask- you said I had to learn to fight? I mean, I already know-" Rivaille cut Eren off with a snort.

"You know standard fighting tactics. _Freedom Wing_? She's _anything_ but standard." Rivaille sniffed, deciding abruptly that there had really been no reason to seek Eren out (_why did you do it, then?_), and turned abruptly around. "See you," he called over his shoulder.

Behind him, Eren sputtered. "I- what?! Aren't you going to explain anything?!"

"Hmm, no." With that, Rivaille turned back out the same corner, strolling leisurely back to his rooms. For some reason, the particular shade of Eren's cheeks lingered in his memory longer than strictly necessary.

(((***)))

Eren stared at the corner around which Rivaille had vanished. He was vaguely conscious of the fact that his mouth was still open, but- "What the hell was that?!" he said to no one in particular. Shaking his head again, he ran a hand through his hair, before taking a breath and continuing to his room, trying his best not to think of Rivaille's hand stroking firmly down his hip and thigh.

Yeah, he failed that one.

He threw himself facedown onto his bed, absently wishing that he'd washed the sheets last wash day- the next one wasn't for another week, at least. Eren groaned, sitting up to unlace his boots and strip to his boxers for sleeping. He considered showering, but if Rivaille's _completely unexplained_ (like, really, what the fuck was up with that?! Was there something he was missing about _Freedom Wing_? No, scratch that, there was_definitely_ something he was missing, he'd have to ask Armin later…) comments meant anything, Eren would probably be getting sweaty tomorrow morning as well, so really, what was the point in showering now?

Content with his decision and still completely totally _not_ thinking about Rivaille, Eren laid back and dozed off. He was awoken by Armin entering the room, and Eren felt a rush of gratitude that he was alone. If Jean had been there, he never would have heard the end of it.

"Hey, Armin."

"Hi," the blond replied, sitting down on his own bunk and beginning to take off his boots. "You didn't miss much in the rec center today- Marco's still beating everyone at poker, Sasha somehow smuggled in a bunch of food and divided it up, the usual."

"Mm. Listen, Armin, I wanted to ask you- what do you know about _Freedom Wing_'s fighting style?" Armin paused, looking up at Eren.

"Her fighting style?"

Eren nodded. "Rivai- er, Corporal Rivaille found me earlier, he said he was coming to conditioning tomorrow , because I have to learn _Freedom_'s fighting style, whatever that means. I thought you might know, maybe you read something about it?"

Armin slowly shook his head, a pensive expression on his face. "Sorry, I've never heard about _Freedom Wing_ having a different fighting style from the other jaeger. I mean, every jaeger has a different style, don't they? Because of the pilots. Was Corporal Rivaille hinting that _Freedom Wing_ is unique even in that respect?"

"_Even_?"

"Mmhm. She's the first jaeger to have a semi-internalized engine," Armin said. "Meaning you can't see it from the outside," he added, seeing Eren's confusion.

Eren's gaze opened. "Oh, so that's why I couldn't see her engine!" Armin nodded. Eren was about to press Armin for whatever other information he had about _Freedom Wing_, but just then the door opened again and Jean, Marco, and Connie walked in, effectively nixing the possibility of a one-on-one conversation. Eren had no desire to engage the others in conversation either; he already felt exhausted from dinner.

Instead, he grunted goodnight to everyone (Reiner, Berthold, and Franz had since returned as well, and Eren had been mildly surprised to learn that even after his nap earlier, he was still tired), and pulled the covers up to his chin. As they ran over his hip, he had a sudden flashback to something else running over his hip, warmer, firmer, with purpose and-

_Fuck, I shouldn't be thinking about Rivaille like that_… was Eren's last thought before sleep overcame him.

(((***)))

Rivaille woke up to the sound of the blaring alarm, cursing it in every language he knew before deciding that hitting the snooze was a worthwhile use of energy. Of course, it went off again five minutes later, and Rivaille grudgingly accepted that fate wanted him up (the thought of coffee from the mess hall also helped). As per his usual morning routine, Rivaille dragged himself to the shower, allowing some cold water to wake him as much as possible while still lacking caffeine. That done, Rivaille dressed in dark blue slacks and dark blue top, throwing a light jacket over the workout ensemble.

He headed down to the mess hall, feeling the cold water rush begin to wear off. As soon as he joined the line for breakfast (coffee), he found himself surrounded by Hanji, Mike, Auruo, and Günter, three of which were not caffeine addicts and thus far too awake for Rivaille's tastes.

"So you're gonna teach Eren _Freedom Wing_'s special secret today?" Hanji asked brightly, invading Rivaille's personal space and tugging on his shirt. Auruo muttered something which made Mike laugh, and Rivaille grit his teeth.

"Hanji, I still haven't had my coffee. If you'd be so kind as to hold off for _five fucking minutes_ while the line- oh!" Rivaille walked (possibly quite a bit faster than he normally would) towards the open coffee-maker, punching the buttons for a double espresso. A few seconds of impatient waiting and an almost-but-not-quite scalded tongue later, and Rivaille was already feeling better. At some point while reveling in the taste of his coffee, Rivaille had managed to pick up a bagel and find his way to the table at which the others were sitting, and he finally turned his gaze upon Hanji, who was engrossed in conversation with Mike.

"-but no that's not even the really cool part! The cool part is that if you cut it open, you know, it'll begin to heal right back! Except, we've discovered, if you coat the tools with-"

"Hanji, to answer your question from before, yes," Rivaille said, giving a small nod in acknowledgement of Mike's grateful glance. Thus successfully distracted, Hanji re-directed her general enthusiasm for life towards Rivaille, who'd immediately zoned out and was quite contentedly spreading cream cheese over the second half of his bagel. It was only when the other three at the table started laughing that Rivaille thought to look up. "Hmm?" he mumbled, as all four (five, if you _really_ counted Hanji) pairs of eyes locked on him

"She asked why you didn't wear your _other_ pants," Günter said, the stress of his words making it abundantly clear to Rivaille which 'other pants' were in question. Rivaille shot Hanji an icy glare, and she returned it with a smile, sipping innocently from her mug of tea.

"I think you should," Mike said around mouthfuls of… what _was_ he even eating? "They make your ass look _great_ and if what Hanji's been telling us is true, you've got yourself a _very_ avid spectator, hmm?" he added, a shit-eating grin on his face. Rivaille glared first at Hanji, then Mike, then at Günter and Auruo too, for good measure.

"Hey don't look at me!" Auruo complained.

"So I don't know why the entire shitty world has a fascination with my ass, but no, I will _not_ feed my shitty, hormonal, bratty, clumsy excuse for a co-pilot's lust, if that's what you're all insinuating," Rivaille grumbled. He'd always been confident in his body, despite being short, and he _knew_that he had a nice ass- but really, some things were just overdoing it (Rivaille pushed aside the nagging voice that suggested maybe he _should_wear the other, tighter pants instead).

The table was quiet for a few moments. Then Hanji started talking.

"First," she said, ticking the number off on her fingers, "the entire shitty world does _not_ have a fascination with your ass- the only reason for that of course being that most of the entire shitty world probably hasn't seen your ass, since the only times you really go on television are when you're in your jaeger. It's really quite a shame, you know. To deprive that many people of such wonderful eye candy. Secondly," another finger down, "that was four adjectives you used to describe Eren- five, if 'excuse for a co-pilot' is counted- and are you quite sure this is a one-sided crush going on here?" She, and the others, regarded Rivaille quizzically.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times at the sheer absurdity of it all. "You're all a bunch of moronic gossip queens," Rivaille concluded, eating the last bite of his bagel.

"You know, I think Eren's wearing one of those tight workout shirts too," Hanji crooned. Rivaille stared into his cup for a second, almost wishing there was still coffee on there, so that he could dump it on Hanji's head (there wasn't, and so he settled for turning the cup upside-down and placing it (carefully- it's be no good if the cup broke) on the scientist's head. She took it rather well, even holding still while Rivaille adjusted it to make sure it wouldn't fall).

Rivaille stood up and took a step back, admiring his handiwork. "Nice hat," he said finally. "Now all four of you get your damn minds out of the gutter, or else I'll just go back to eating alone," Rivaille half-threatened. "Goodbye," he tacked on, grabbing his tray (leaving the cup) and making his way out of the mess hall.

"He never answered your question, did he, Hanji?" Auruo asked. Hanji had a pensive look on her face, the same kind she wore for running calculations.

She didn't answer Auruo's.

((( ***)))

Eren walked into the training and conditioning room side-by-side with Armin and Mikasa, eyes quickly scanning around for Rivaille. He was almost sad to note that the other man wasn't present. As Coach Sis ordered them to form up, though, Eren wasn't disappointed- Rivaille walked in, silence falling immediately and the double-doors swinging shut dramatically behind him.

"Sis, I need Eren. Jaeger," Rivaille said, blunt and to the point as usual. Coach Sis grinned back in return- Eren wondered what kind of relationship he had with Rivaille, to be able to smile at his impassive face like that.

"Do ya now? Well I can give him to ya, but only fer a price," Coach Sis said. Rivaille raised an eyebrow, and Eren would almost have sworn he saw Rivaille's lips twitch, as if concealing a smile.

"What's your price?" Rivaille asked, fiddling a bit with his jacket. Coach Sis leaned over to Rivaille and whispered in his ear, to which Rivaille nodded. The entire room of cadets watched the exchange with bated breath. Coach Sis stepped back from Rivaille, grinning wider, and Rivaille shrugged off his jacket, revealing a very nicely form-fitting dark shirt and bare, toned arms.

Coach Sis's voice brought Eren out of his daze. "-this was a move developed by Corporal Rivaille a couple o' years ago, and is now a pretty commonly used jaeger technique. All o' ya who wanna become pilots should pay special attention now- ya can only use this move on bipedals, fer which it's perfect fer practicin' in pairs. Now watch Rivaille closely- I'll be the kaiju," he said, and then began to advance on Rivaille.

Rivaille, for his part, stood almost perfectly still, the weight of his body concentrated on his toes. As soon as Coach Sis was close enough, Rivaille sprang into action. His right foot swung out at the same time his right arm swung the opposite way; Eren watched the muscles on Rivaille's back bunch as he twisted his body, arm and leg making contact with Coach Sis at the same time.

Coach Sis went flying, probably saved from cracking in his skull only thanks to his stellar "safe fall" technique. Rivaille didn't even look phased.

Coach Sis stood up, gesturing towards Rivaille. "And that, students, is how ya execute the flip. Thank ya, Corporal. Ya can take yar Jaeger, now," he said, motioning towards Rivaille before looking at the class at large and shouting for them to pair up with someone of equal strength.

Eren was very, very glad to be out of there- he _really_didn't feel like getting pummeled by his classmates. Instead, he followed Rivaille into a darkened room that Eren hadn't even known existed, the door to which was hidden along the farthest back wall of the main training room. Rivaille flicked on the lights.

"Um, Rivaille?"

"Yes?"

"This looks like a dance studio."

"Well at least _you_ don't need glasses."

"Why are we in a dance studio?"

"Just put these on and I'll explain to you in a minute," Rivaille growled, throwing a pair of black _ballerina flats_ at Eren, who caught them with a look of stupefaction on his face.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," Rivaille looked at him with a bemused expression, his own flats already on. "I don't want the floor to get dirty."

_Oh my gods,_ Eren thought, turning to a curse he'd heard Krista use once, _Rivaille is actually serious about this. _

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((******* *******************))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))

Full chapter title: Things, or: a chapter in which Eren is a teenager and Rivaille is a caffeine addict, and things start to happen

Okay you guys should tell me if the formatting is screwed it looks funny in my word processor :/ ALSO again, if you missed it earlier, **my AO3 account is also Piyo13, and I update **_**Freedom Wing**_** over there before I update it over here**. So… yeah, keep an eye out there ^^

I wanted to get this out earlier but then the characters refused to stop interacting with others and I couldn't fit in everything I wanted to so it's late but also longer? ^^;; (and this isn't even where I wanted to get for this chapter ugh!) But a GINOURMOUS thank you to the people who reviewed, you guys really are what kept me working through this chapter 3

In other news, this here: nagisa-chan-san tumblr /post/57511465629 is _Freedom Wing_ in all her crappily sketched glory.

Also did you know that caffeine from drinking coffee takes about twenty minutes to come into effect as a drug? Yeah. But Rivaille's also got a placebo-effect-thing going on with his coffee, so insta-effects it is.

Extra bonus-points if you get why that's Krista's curse :P

Also this chapter is like completely un-beta'd (it's almost 7:30 am) so please- any mistakes, lemme know, kay?


	8. Drift Compatibility

Rivaille watched as Eren huffed and finally put the shoes on. Satisfied that Eren had managed, Rivaille pulled out a whiteboard from where it was stored in the wall. Taking up a marker, he did a swift sketch of _Freedom Wing,_ including all the most relevant bits. Eren snorted.

"What? You got a problem, shitty brat?"

"No-o," Eren said, shaking his head. "It's just… is that supposed to be _Freedom Wing?_"

Rivaille turned to Eren, lips pursed. "What do you mean, 'supposed'? That is _clearly Freedom Wing_." Eren made a sound halfway between laughing and choking, and Rivaille scowled.

"Rivaille… that looks like a square with baguettes attached," Eren said, clearly trying not to laugh (and failing _utterly_, in Rivaille's opinion).

Losing his composure for a second, Rivaille chucked the marker, hard, at Eren's head. "You draw her, then, if you're so brilliant!" Eren had barely half a second to react, just managing to deflect the marker away from his head. To Rivaille's dismay, Eren confidently strode up to the board, adding a few lines here and removing some there. By the time he had recapped the marker, the drawing looked significantly more like _Freedom Wing_.

"It's still not good," he grumbled, stepping over to take the marker back.

"It's better," Eren said. Rivaille glared. _Cheeky brat._ But he nonetheless circled the jaeger's belt, the dark band of metal that encircled her waist.

"That," he said, tapping the now-capped marker against it, "is _Freedom Wing_'s secret. No, don't say anything, I'm not done talking yet." Rivaille then paused for good measure. "Basically, _Freedom Wing_ is built so that her top half can rotate rapidly and continuously, over 360˚, in either direction. _Of course_," he said, raising his voice to forestall Eren's, "that means the pilots _also_ have to be capable of spinning rapidly and continuously. Hence, this," he finished, waving a hand at the dance studio.

Eren was still staring at the whiteboard drawing.

"Oi, brat, have the marker fumes gotten to your head or what?"

"No, it's not that, it's just… she can really rotate?" Rivaille pinched the bridge of his nose, walking back over to the whiteboard.

"Yes, she can, like this." He drew arrows around the jaeger's torso. "Start using your brain. If we hadn't drifted, I'd almost think you didn't have one."

"Hey, that's-"

"Are you coming?" Rivaille looked over his shoulder from his position a quarter of the way into the room, about three meters from the wall and the whiteboard. He turns to face Eren, pulling on the elastic band within his shoes, making sure they're on properly. _It works better in the jaeger,_ he thought, where the smell of grease is more comfortable than the smell of oiled wood.

But no matter.

"Watch, because I won't repeat myself," Rivaille said.

Then he stepped forward, a full step, only his toes hitting the ground. His back leg kicked out, and he's spinning, eyes focused on Eren when he's not turning, using him as an anchor, spotting on him, and if Rivaille thinks hard enough he can convince himself that he's still in a jaeger and he'll be able to use his signature move soon. Of course, there's no way he can, and too soon he has spun to a stop. He exhaled loudly, taking a moment to center him before looking up to meet Eren's very, very green eyes.

(((***)))

Eren was entranced. So maybe he'd always scoffed at dancers, but… the way Rivaille did it, made the spinning seem so natural and effortless and of course it wasn't like Eren had noticed the interplay of muscles underneath Rivaille's sinfully tight shirt, not at all, and now Rivaille's stormy eyes met his own and-

"Look, I appreciate hero-worship as much as the next guy but until you learn how to pirouette like that, I won't be able to use my jaeger. So move your ass and _learn._" Eren sighed. Rivaille could keep the impression of stoicness as long as he didn't open his mouth. Then the full import of Rivaille's words hit and Eren blushed.

"I'm not-"

"Cut the crap, kid, I can see your ears getting red from here." Which, naturally, did nothing for Eren except to make his ears even more red. Curse his damn ears.

He walked forward, until he was level with Rivaille. "Um, Rivaille?" Rivaille grunted, still glaring at Eren. Eren took that as a sign to continue. "Um… I don't actually know how to…"

Rivaille sighed. "Weren't you watching?" he said, but his voice held no real acid. Forestalling Eren's question, Rivaille widened his stance, placing one foot in front of him, turning it slightly outwards, while his other foot want back, perpendicular to the line of his shoulders. Rivaille brought his arms up elegantly in a curved fashion out to his sides. "Of course, once we're in the jaeger, you won't hold your arms in proper position, but for now, it'll be easier to get yourself going this way."

"Proper position?"

"Once you start spinning, in theory you close your arms," Rivaille said, demonstrating my bringing his arms together in a circle in front of his chest. "That won't work in the jaeger, but it'll help you get your balance for now."

"Wait, you mean proper as in like, _dance _school proper?"

Rivaille arched an eyebrow, the rest of his face remaining as impassive as ever. "Yes, what else would I mean?"

"I… then you took actual dance lessons?"

"…yes."

"…you never mentioned."

"Is this really important?"

"Why didn't I know that? After drifting, I mean?"

"Because," Rivaille said scathingly, "there is a list about the size of a category five kaiju of things that you don't know about me, and won't, unless I so choose. Now shut up and watch." Then, with Eren watching his every shift, Rivaille pushed his weight forward, twisting his body and bringing his arms together. He pivoted three times on the ball of his foot, before coming back down, landing gracefully in the same position he'd started from.

Setting his face determinedly, Eren took the same stance Rivaille had. Or rather, he tried to take the same stance, because within seconds Rivaille was next to him, tsk'ing and pushing his legs and feet into the proper alignments. Eren willed his ears not to turn red again (he had a sneaking suspicion that he was being less than successful).

"Alright, go," Rivaille said, stepping back and crossing his arms in a self-satisfied manner. Eren nodded once, then stepped forward, imitating Rivaille as best he could.

He got about halfway through one rotation before he had to bring his second foot down to stop from landing on his face. From behind him, Eren heard Rivaille sigh again.

"Right, well I'll leave you to sort this out, coffee is calling me," he said. Eren turned around just in time to see Rivaille closing the studio door behind him, leaving Eren alone in the mirrored room. Eren gaped, then ran a hand through his hair.

"What _is_ it with this guy and leaving me standing?" he asked his reflection (naturally, it gave him no answers). Eren sighed, giving himself a couple of moments to collect himself before returning to the starting stance, and giving it another go.

((***))

Rivaille had indeed gone to fetch coffee, this one diluted with milk. He also grabbed a bottle of water, making sure it was sufficiently chilled. He made his way back to the dance studio, opening the door to see Eren successfully pirouetting. _He's a fast learner, I'll give him that._

"Oi, brat," he said, causing Eren to stumble clumsily out of the pirouette. "Water." He threw the water bottle at Eren's head, noticing his eyes widen as his hand flew up to catch the projectile. Eren looked surprised, but he drank gratefully nonetheless.

"Hey Rivaille. Where _did_ you learn to dance? And why?"

"What's this fucking obsession with me? First Hanji and the lot with my ass, now you with my dance…" Eren scrunched his brow in confusion. Rivaille rolled his eyes.

"When I was a kid. My mother enrolled me. Now get your ass over here, and help me unload these mats," he said, pointing to the rust-colored mats strapped against the near walls. The two of them unstrapped the mats and spread them out, covering the smooth wooden floor completely (Eren had mysteriously lost his dance shoes, Rivaille notes) (Rivaille quickly does the same).

"Alright, now, we can spar," Rivaille said, pulling two long staffs from a nook in the walls as well. He threw one to Eren, who caught it with a grace Rivaille hadn't seen him use in any other activity (he'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited to see it in action again).

They both took up their preferred fighting stance- Rivaille sideways, weight on his back foot, holding his staff akin to a billiards player; Eren standing straight-on, staff gripped tightly, horizontal to the ground, in both hands. It has to be a fundamental difference in their natures, Rivaille thought as he locked eyes with Eren; he must face life head-on, bluntly, while Rivaille… well, bluntness is his forte in words only- everything else he would rather spin around and demolish from afar, never needing to face his opponent head on.

Eren twitches, and suddenly they both explode into motion, every action, every movement, coming sharply into the _now._ Rivaille's staff shoots forward, propelled by his back hand and caught by it as well, once Rivaille's reach reaches its peak; Eren's turned his staff into a perpendicular block, and isn't that funny how geometry both does and doesn't define him, thinks Rivaille, dropping to the ground to avoid Eren's overhead pass, swinging his own staff in an arc at Eren's feet; but he's sensed Rivaille's motion and jumps, bringing down his staff in the same motion, leaving Rivaille only just enough time to somersault backwards, before springing back up, staff held sword-like at Eren's face, who counters it with his own sword, and they give it a full minute of back-and-forth parries before breaking it off with an unconventional thrust, both twisting at the same time, and suddenly Rivaille has the thought, _this is what drift compatibility means isn't it_ and then somehow both are on the ground and Rivaille has Eren trapped under him, staff pointed at his neck, and both of them are panting, hard, but their eyes are still locked and Rivaille knows the answer to his unasked question is a resounding _yes._

And then the lunch bell rings, shattering their drift-built illusion. Rivaille stands, muttering a soft "not bad" under his breath. He puts his staff away, instructing Eren to do the same, but leave the mats.

He heads to lunch, allowing the euphoria of the fight slowly, softly, wash over him and away.

He wonders if Eren feels the same.

(((((((((((((((((***********************)))))))))) )))))))

School has started.

I am going to _die._

But I will hopefully be updating every weekend from the grave.


	9. Passing Notes

Eren stumbled into the mess hall a few minutes late. Mikasa immediately stood up, but Eren waved her back down as he quickly made his way to the lunch line and grabbed… well, it looked somewhat edible, at any rate. He weaved his way back through the crowded tables, noticing, out of the corner of his eye, Rivaille in discussion with Hanji. He wondered briefly what they were talking about; Hanji seemed so animated.

He set his tray down on the table, flopping into the seat. "Hi," he said, hearing an inhalation of breath from Mikasa. Across from him, Armin had his eyebrows raised.

"Eren, did that midget hurt you?" Mikasa practically growled. "Because if he did…" Eren gaped.

"Mikasa, you can't be talking about Rivaille…?" She pointed to a bruise on Eren's arm, one that, in truth, he hadn't noticed earlier. "Oh, that's nothing to worry about. We were sparring. I don't even know how I got that. I'll be fine, don't worry about it," he said, but Mikasa gave him a skeptical look, unconvinced.

"So what fighting style did he teach you?" Armin asked as Eren began to eat the food.

"Dancing," Eren mumbled. Even Mikasa made a face at that. "No, I'm serious, he had me doing pira- piro-"

"Pirouettes?"

"Yeah, pirouettes. He had me doing those for like, an hour. Or something. I dunno. I guess that's _Freedom Wing_'s style- she spins around really fast, and the pilots have to be able to do that too. But, really, you should have seen him- he took dance lessons or something when he was younger, and he can pirouette like a professional, it's like… _wow_, you know? I mean I've always thought dance was- what are laughing at?" Eren directed his question at Armin, who was trying to hide a grin behind his hand. Armin shook his head, now giggling openly, and Eren turned to question Mikasa. She wasn't smiling, but her eyes betrayed her mirth. "Seriously, what's so funny?"

Mikasa shook her head.

"It sounds like you've got a crush, Eren!" Armin finally said, still giggling. For the second time in a matter of minutes, Eren found himself gaping at his friends.

"You can't be serious, I only-"

"I think anyone could tell, really," Mikasa said. Eren looked down at his food, ears red.

"You guys are crazy," he said finally. Mikasa mumbled something Eren doesn't hear, and Armin shook his head sadly, but still smiling. Eren huffed, then continued eating. But now, of course, the idea is planted, and what if-

Eren forcibly shut down his train of thought. Rivaille isn't important. Or, well, he's important, but only in the sense that it's only with Rivaille's cooperation that Eren will ever get to kill a kaiju. And damn if he doesn't want to do that. He wants to kill one, kill them all- make them pay for what they did to his family, to humanity-

Mikasa shifted next to him, calling him out of his internal musings.

"-come here," she said, and Sasha approached, sliding into the seat next to Armin. Mikasa pushed her food over to her- there was still a fair portion on the plate, and Sasha even paused to give Mikasa a grateful look before digging in with gusto. Eren elbowed Mikasa, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Mikasa rolled her eyes, but the look she gave Sasha (only when Sasha wasn't looking) was borderline fond.

Eren shared a look of silent agreement with Armin.

The four of them chatted a bit about all things inconsequential- Berthold lost another sock, Ymir and Christa were most likely getting it on last night (causing Connie to lose his bet), _why_ did Ness think it was okay to give homework- before the bell signaling the end of lunch rang, and they headed to theory and tactics class.

Eren, Armin, and Mikasa sat down next to each other, as per usual, lounging around until the door swung open. They, like the rest of the class, sat up straighter instinctively. They were unfamiliar with the teacher, which was usually not a good sign. People they didn't know tended to assign homework, they'd learned. Those they _did _know would have to grade it; for that reason, homework was relatively uncommon.

The man, tall, blond, scruffy beard, wearing an orange engineer's jacket, went straight for the board. Across the top, in all caps, he wrote: MIKE ZACHARIUS.

"Hello. I'm Mike Zacharius, but you can call me Mike. I'm chief engineer and occasional jaeger pilot. Since the GenVI jaegers are going to be finished up later this week, I was asked by Commander Smith to come and give you all a lecture on the GenVI's and jaeger piloting."

Finished, he turned back around, sketching quick and confident lines onto the board, five jaegers coming to life under his marker. Eren snorted._At least these ones look like jaegers._

"These are the five GenVI jaegers we currently have ready for release. This one-" Eren tuned Mike out, absently doodling on the edge of his paper. He had _Freedom Wing_- what was the purpose of paying attention to the descriptions of the GenVI? There was no way he was piloting any of those anyway.

He blinked in surprise as a folded sheet of paper found its way in front of him. He looked at Armin, who motioned for Eren to open it.

_So do you really have a crush on __him__?_ was written in Armin's neat script. Eren scowled at his friend, who shrugged, taking notes on Mike's speech at the same time. Eren wrote out a quick reply: _um, NO. you crazy?_ He passed the paper back to Armin.

Armin opened it, shooting Eren a glance that quite clearly read 'done with your shit'. Eren rolled his eyes dramatically, motioning for Armin to pass the paper back, while trying his best not to look guilty (or like he was cussing out Armin inside his head, which he totally wasn't doing. At all).

Armin complied, and under his previous scrawl, Eren added: _so he has a nice ass. and I like looking at it. doesn't mean anything. fuq u._

As Armin read that missive, he actually snorted. His pen momentarily changed papers, before he passed the note back to Eren. _Of course it doesn't. You've barely mentioned killing kaiju __once__ in the past two days, and I'm supposed to believe that "doesn't mean anything"?_

Angrily, Eren wrote, in large letters, _KILL ALL THE KAIJU_, underlining it several times for full dramatic effect. Then, in the small space he had left,_but I don't actually mention kaiju that often do i?_

Another exchange, and Eren unfolded the note to see Armin's newest message indicated with an arrow. _-You don't, but watching you react to my statement is enough to confirm that you __do__ like Corporal Rivaille. _Just as Eren was about to write out a reply, Mikasa reached over and snatched the paper out from his hand. Eren made grabbing motions, but as he couldn't verbalize or act out due to Mike, Mikasa was allowed to read the written conversation in peace.

She scribbled something onto the paper, passing it back to Eren.

_ Armin- good work :)  
Eren- I cant say I approve of your choices but if you think this is the right path for you I wont stop you I will kick his 'nice ass' though if you ever need me to. be safe little bro_

Eren looked up, horrified. _mikasa I swear I DON'T WANT TO FUCK RIVAILLE. YOUR YOUNGER THAN ME TOO I'M NOT YOUR LITTLE BRO. ALSO YOUR SO IN LOVE WITH SASHA_

This time, before he was able to pass the paper back to Mikasa, it was taken out of his hands by Armin. He flipped the paper over, writing on the blank back, hesitating a moment in the passing, to avoid Mike's gaze. Eren read the message.

_ Eren- your is possessive. What __you're__ looking for is the contraction you're- you + are.  
Mikasa- Thank you. However, I have to agree with Eren- what is your relationship with Sasha?_

Eren added a quick _fuck you armin_ on the next line, before passing it over to Mikasa, who pulled the edge of her scarf a bit higher before writing out a (in Eren's opinion very long) response.

_I think shes nice maybe I even like her romantically but I dont want to have sex or anything with her. And Eren no one said anything about fucking anyone are you sure you dont like him_

Eren reread it, making sure he had understood correctly. _so you like her but you don't want to have sex w/her? and idk I don't really want to fuck armin _Finished, Eren shuffled the missive off to Armin. A few seconds later, it was back in his hands.

_ Mikasa- oh, yeah, I forgot you were asexual. My bad.  
Eren- Mikasa was talking about your comment about fucking Rivaille, not about your retort to me being right. But let me just go on the record as not wanting to fuck you either._

Eren sighed. _o right ace sorry. but really armin fuck you and grammar. do you think I could borrow your notes though if we get tested over this stuff?_

Mikasa once again took the paper, giving it back to Eren with _ Armin- no worries :) Eren- what Armin said also you can borrow my notes _added to it.

_thank you _he scrawled, passing it to Armin. Before he had a chance to reply, however, a loud wailing filled the room. Eren jumped to his feet, the note cleared of his mind.

The kaiju sirens were sounding.

"_A kaiju has been sighted. Trainees please report to the standby area. Pilots and maintenance crew please report to the docking stations. Over."_Several members of the class sighed in annoyance at the routine message, almost too bothered to get up. Mike, however, was scanning the mass of cadets as they began to make their way to the door. His eyes alighted on Eren.

"Jaeger, come with me," he said, pushing his way bodily through the crowd and opening a path for Eren to follow. On his way out the door, Eren threw the now-crumpled note into the recycling bin, waving goodbye to Armin and Mikasa, a grin on his face.

_Maybe today, I'll get to kill a kaiju_, he thought happily (getting to hang out in the command center with Rivaille didn't factor into his smile) (nor was he in denial) (nor was he denying his denial) (that would be silly).

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I wrote this chapter in direct denial of school. I mean if I have to go at least let me have the Shinganshina trio as classmates…


	10. Happiness is a Lie

If you were/are traumatized by episode 21….

…I'm sorry.

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As they turned into a side hallway, Mike slowed and Eren almost ran into him, at which point Mike leaned down and gave a large sniff.

"Uh…" said Eren, watching a small smirk come to the man's face. Mike then resumed walking without further commentary, and Eren was left no recourse but to continue following him. They took a few more turns before entering the command room Eren had been in last time- as soon as he walked in, he searched for Rivaille, and walked over to where he was in conversation with Commander Smith and Hanji.

"-that's a lot. We should be on standby in our own command."

"Rivaille, I need you running the display, not in your jaeger. Besides, Eren doesn't have any combat experience and things would most likely end badly."

"Oh, hi, Eren!" Hanji said, making Commander Smith start and Rivaille simply turn and glare.

"Um, hi," Eren mumbled. "…does this mean we still won't get to kill any kaiju?"

Smith shook his head, expressionless. "Not today, Eren. Please understand; we need a team such as yours to stay alive, and you're not well-versed enough yet in _Freedom Wing's _style to be able to fight at peak efficiency."

Eren bit the inside of his cheek, but his eyes blazed furiously, before resigning himself.

"Hanji, Rivaille- stations please, we're about to drop," Smith said, returning to his own. Hanji turned and sat in her chair in the same motion, but Rivaille walked across the room in the opposite direction. Eren watched him move, graceful as a cat, and about as talkative. He faltered about a bit, unsure what to do; luckily, Hanji noticed, and motioned for him to come over.

"These blips here," she said, pointing to bright red-circled points in the holo-display, "are kaiju. These here," she said, indicating the two yellow dots moving quickly towards the red, "are our two jaegers. We've got Auruo and Moblit in _Raven Blue, _and Erd and Günter in _Falcon Dance._ Ah- they're online now!" Hanji exclaimed. "Erwin, the line's up!"

Commander Smith nodded in understanding, then pulled the microphone towards him.

"_Raven Blue,_ connections good?"

"_Roger that, sir,_" same a voice Eren didn't recognize.

"And _Falcon Dance?_"

"_Online and feelin' good. Ready to kick some kaiju ass!_" said another voice.

"Good. Have at 'em, then," Smith said- or growled, his face becoming fierce and making Eren write a mental note to never piss off Commander Smith.

"_Copy!"_

"_Roger!"_

The speakers crackled back into silence, and the large holoscreen lit up with data points, coming together to depict the two jaegers and their opponents.

"There's three Category 2, two Category 3, and one Category 4. One of the Category 3's is bipedal, as is the Category 4," Hanji said over Eren's shoulder, her face lit with enthusiasm. "And since we've got Erd and Günter, they probably won't fucking _pulverize_ it, so maybe I'll even get a decent sample this time!" she was practically bouncing in her seat, and Eren couldn't help but smile with her- her joy was contagious.

One of the yellow blips met with one of the red, and a loud cheer rose in the command room. 'Get that fucker', and variations thereof, seemed to be the most common form of cheer, and Eren returned his eyes to the large screen, watching as scanner data poured in and built up the hologram of a four-footed monster, its vaguely reptilian face repulsing Eren and heightening his wont to murder it.

The jaeger swung a large fist, knocking the kaiju into the air; another cheer, and a cry of "_Falcon Dance_ has made contact as well!", followed by further whooping. The atmosphere was exuberant, and Eren let his emotions flow, groaning and cheering with the command crew. At one point, he looked over to Rivaille; Eren was somewhat dismayed to find his impassionate as always, still seated at his station, hands flying over the controls.

Looking back at Hanji to make sure he wouldn't be missed (he wouldn't- she had a notebook open, filled with illegible scrawls and half-drawn kaiju diagrams, and she was muttering to herself under her breath), Eren weaved through various people, ending up behind Rivaille.

"What do you want, shitty brat?" Rivaille grumbled, eyes never moving from the diagram of the jaeger (_Falcon Dance,_ Eren thought) on the screen in front of him. Eren watched the diagram for a few moments, noting the areas of shifting red and orange. Rivaille's hands flew over the keypad as a particularly large patch of red began to form over the jaeger's left arm in sync with a loud whoop from the soldiers; soon the red abated.

"I just wanted to see what you were doing," Eren answered, mentally redacting the last two words. "And… I'm sorry. It's my fault that we aren't out there right now- I'll get better though. I promise."

Rivaille didn't turn around, but Eren could have sworn he huffed. "Yeah, you better, brat." His fingers beat the keys again, and Eren had already begun to turn away sadly when he heard Rivaille's voice just above the thrum of background noise. "I have to make sure that no sectors of _Falcon Dance_ overheat. The jaeger is, in theory, self-regulating, but she's an older model, and her refrigerating systems need a push on occasion. Like now," he said.

Eren stepped a bit closer, noticing the patch of intense red on the shoulder, and the strip of code that Rivaille quickly wrote, after which the red began to dissipate.

"And before you ask, usually Moblit does this job, but he's out right now and I'm next best of those here." Rivaille exhaled slowly, displeasure evident. His slender fingers hovered lightly over the keypad, and Eren bit his lip. _Now is _really _not the time…._

Suddenly, a loud booing rose up, followed by cries of 'no' and 'shit'. Rivaille went with a 'fuck'; Eren looked up at the main display, trying to figure out what he'd missed.

One of the bipedal kaiju had engaged _Falcon Dance_; it had swung its arm wildly, and its mouth was open and glowing blue. Turning back to Rivaille's display, Eren noticed that a large portion of _Falcon Dance_'s upper arm was black- he looked up at the main display, finally noticing that the right arm look caved in.

The speakers crackled, and the command center went quiet almost instantly. "_Falcon Dance to Command, do you copy?!"_

Commander Smith already had the microphone in hand, and Eren felt a nasty premonition clench in his gut. "Command to _Falcon Dance,_ we copy. Get yourselves out of there, your main artillery arm is completely offline!"

"_Roger,_" said a different, more pained voice. The command center broke into a relieved twitter, and the hologram showed _Falcon Dance _turn and begin to run, but Eren was still on edge. He looked around- Smith was still clutching the microphone, an odd expression on his face; Mike was furiously typing green onto three separate black screens; Hanji had grown still.

"_Fuck! _Erwin, gimme the mic!" Hanji screamed. Smith took one look at her panicked expression before handing over the microphone without question. Eren stole a quick glance at Rivaille, who was ignoring the happenings, still typing quickly. The patch of black was rimmed in red and expanding; Rivaille gritted his teeth, and Eren turned his attention back to Hanji. She pressed down the button and began talking rapid-fire- "Erd, Günter, that Category 4 bipedal you were fighting, it's accelerating at unprecedented speed for a kaiju, it's going to catch up to you! There's also reading coming in of yet another kaiju, behind you and to your left, a Category 3 as well! Watch- out…"

The microphone clattered to the ground, stunned silence engulfing the command center. They watched in collective horror as the hologrammed kaiju knocked _Falcon Dance_ to the ground before sinking its phosphoric teeth into the casing. Alarms began blaring around the command center, alerting to this and that, but Eren couldn't tear his eyes away. Half the screen was _Raven Blue, _engaging the two Category 2 at once; the other half was _Falcon Dance_ slowly flickering in and out as her sensors were mauled by ammoniac acid and the weight of one- no wait, shit, the second titan Hanji had mentioned was there now as well- the weight of two titans, their thick fingers gouging at the steel plating and breaking it.

Suddenly, the screen went black. Eren made a noise halfway between a yell and a bark, and the speakers turned themselves back on.

"_Sorry, guys. We'll- we'll see you in the next life."_ The microphone stayed on long enough for everyone to hear a crunching noise and a cut-off scream.

"No…" Eren whispered, eyes wide, mouth open in shock.

((***))

"_Sorry guys. We'll- we'll see you in the next life."_

Rivaille's blood ran cold as he heard Erd's words, the spreading chill synchronized with the black overtaking the jaeger on the display in front of him. Rivaille's hands didn't tremble as he steadfastly continued typing, but the display soon cut out, a little box with the red words ERROR: NO INPUT FOUND blinking at him in mockery.

He let his hands fall flat. Alarms rang loudly in his ears, the cacophony lining up with his mental state to a degree that should have been alarming but instead was oddly comforting in an odd, disjointed way.

_This is a joke. A sick, cruel joke. Erd and Günter, they wouldn't- they can't-_ Rivaille pushed back the wave of memories that was on the verge of overtaking him; it was useless for him to have a breakdown now. He could mourn later.

"_Raven Blue to command. We've annihilated the bastards who ate _Falcon Dance._ Requesting transport back."_

Erwin was at the mic, face disbelieving. "Copy that, hatch number 5 is prepared to take you in," he said, voice completely devoid of intonation. Behind him, Hanji had dropped her masks, her face somber, tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. Next to him, Eren was staring at the main screen with wide eyes and open mouth. _The brat's probably never seen a comrade get eaten before_, Rivaille thought, the notion mirthful to him.

"Ha," he said softly, the single syllable falling clumsily into the room. Eren closed his mouth and turned to look at him, expression shifting to concern. "I'm leaving," Rivaille stated, turning and making a beeline for the door, emotions threatening to overwhelm him with every step.

He didn't notice Mike, gripping the edge of the table with white knuckles wet from teardrops.

He didn't notice the tears streaming quietly down Hanji's face, her expression one of infuriated determination.

He didn't notice Erwin's eyes, downcast and horrified, belying the maniacal smile gracing his features.

He didn't notice the half-pace Eren took towards him, one arm extended, brow furrowed and words of confusion, compassion, concern trapped just behind his lips.

He saw instead the gold-brown eyes of a woman he'd respected, he'd fought with, he'd maybe even loved- he saw the life snuffed out of them even as a portion of his mind went blank, taking with it a portion of his heart- he barely made it to his room before collapsing; sobs that wouldn't come in the presence of others now consuming him, wracking his body until, hours later, sleep overcame him, quieting his mind and carrying him in a dark chariot to oblivion.

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I made myself sad.

In other news:

-This chapter's full title is "Happiness is a Lie, or: Death do us part"  
-previous chapter's full title is, "Armin is the best multi-tasker in the military (he has to be, with friends like Eren)"  
-I also post updates on tumblr, under the tag "freedom wing" (which I also track, if you'd rather contact me that way ^^)  
-i also sometimes post commentary under that tag, although most of it is along the lines of "HELP WHAT ARE JAEGER NAMES" (seriously though- i need some seven more jaeger names, this is not a joke)  
-this week's episode wasn't okay  
-if you haven't already figured out who rivaille's previous co-pilot was, shame on you (but not really i still love you)  
-that is all

-jesus fuck is it september already


	11. Rise of the GenVI

I forgot to upload this here I am gomen

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Eren woke up a few minutes before the alarm rang. Sighing heavily, he threw an arm over his eyes, wishing he could go back to sleep. He hadn't even _known_ Erd and Günter. But Rivaille had.

And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it?

Rivaille's face as he had left the command station… it _hurt_. Sure, his face was usually impassive, but then… it had just been _empty._ So disbelieving and… and _sad._ And Eren hated it; hated that he was part of the problem- because _Freedom Wing_ would have been able to handle that kaiju, wouldn't she have been? And it was Eren's fault, all on him, Rivaille had been ready, but Eren had gone and fucked it up-

The alarm beeped, bringing with it the groans of seven sleepy cadets. Eren sighed softly, then removed his arm from his face. He and the others got dressed, a few light-hearted squabbles breaking out, but Eren wasn't in the mood. Armin seemed to pick up on this, shooting Eren a sympathetic gaze (which Eren avoided) and placing a hand on Eren's shoulder.

"Thanks," he mumbled, not even trying to deny how nice it felt, to know that his friend had his back. Armin just smiled, eyes crinkling slightly.

Feeling a bit better, Eren headed down to the mess hall with Armin, grabbing a bowl of porridge (he thought) and a glass of milk before sliding into their usual table. Mikasa soon joined them, looking at Eren with concern. By now the entire base was well aware of the demise of _Falcon Dance_ and her crew.

"I'm fine, Mikasa," he said with a sigh. She huffed back at him.

"No, you're not. We've been together since we were kids, I'd like to think I know when you're fine. And right now, you're not."

Eren stared into his porridge, admitting to himself that Mikasa _did_ have a point. He set down his spoon. "It's just… they weren't supposed to _die._That's… it's unfair. And it's my fault, and Rivaille, he- I- I'm so hopeless."

Mikasa's hand reached out to touch his, where it gripped the table tight enough to turn his knuckles white. "Eren. It's not your fault. They knew what they were doing. And you're still alive, instead of having gone out there with one day of actual practice and gotten killed." Those words set something off in Eren's mind. He grinned maliciously.

"I'll get revenge for them. I'll kill _all _of them. Revenge for Erd, Günter, our mother… everyone who died because of those bastards." Mikasa patted his hand lightly, and next to him Armin sighed quietly.

"Well that's wonderful, and I wish you luck with that, but right now we have morning conditioning again," Jean said as he walked past their table, glancing at Mikasa and with an apologetic Marco following him closely behind. Eren glared at Jean's back, but nonetheless stood up and followed Armin and Mikasa to the training room.

Once they arrived, Coach Sis made eye contact with Eren and beckoned him to the side. Brow furrowed, Eren complied.

"I have special instructions for ya today. Commander Smith says ya hafta go into the side room like ya did last time with Corporal Rivaille. He says there's stuff set up fer ya to use." As Eren continued to stare at him in confusion, Coach Sis shrugged. "That's all I got, kiddo."

"…okay. I'll just be going then? Sir."

"Yea, ya run along now," Coach Sis said, making shooing motions. Eren saluted briefly, then left, filling in Armin and Mikasa quickly before entering the dark side room. He groped around for the lights, finally finding the switch and flicking them on. His eyes widened as he took in the room.

Half of it was still a blank dance studio; a pair of ballerina flats lay next to a full water bottle on the floor. But the rest of the room had been quickly remodeled- or at least, undergone several installations. There were at least six different weight-training machines, a treadmill, an ellipse, and two devices Eren couldn't recognize off the bat, but whom the small pamphlet resting atop them classified as "combat trainers". Commander Smith's message was clear.

Eren took a deep, determined breath, refocusing all his worry into the task at hand. Pulling on the ballerina flats, Eren began to spin, spotting as Rivaille had taught him to do, but wishing he was spotting on Rivaille rather than a crappy drawing on a whiteboard that had neglected to be erased. He stopped when even the spotting could no longer keep nausea at bay, taking a swig from the water bottle before moving on to the rest of the training equipment. There he lost himself, mindlessly training until the lunch bell rang.

Lunch was rather uneventful, but someone had pushed two tables together and now there were even more people present and talking, giving Eren an excuse to eat as fast as he could and go take a shower before tactics.

Feeling refreshed but also sore (he really shouldn't have done that fifth rep…), Eren headed to tactics, where he was greeted by a vaguely familiar guy in an engineer's uniform, who handed him a blue note, folded, once again, obscenely intricately. As the guy left and Armin and Mikasa looked curiously over his shoulder as he tried to unfold the message without ripping it (was it just him, or was this a lot more complicated than it had been last time?), Eren harbored hope that maybe Rivaille was feeling better, and that they were going to be allowed to ride in _Freedom Wing_again.

Finally, he managed to reduce the series of folds to a single horizontal one. Eren flipped it open.

_Command 2.0, ASAP. Smith's orders._

There was no signature.

"See you later, again, I guess?" Armin asked. Mikasa was frowning. Eren read the note once again.

"Yeah, I guess…" he said, then waved them off with instructions to notify whoever was teaching and headed off to the new command station. Upon arrival, he was greeted by a subdued Hanji.

"Heyo, Eren. Rivaille's already ready, so if you remember how to get down to the lockers, we need you suited up. You _do_ remember, right?" Eren nodded, turning to leave. "And, Eren?"

He stopped, looking back at Hanji. "Yeah?"

"You- ah, you know what? Nevermind," she said, running a tattooed arm through her ponytail. Eren gave her an odd look, but she just waved him off. Shrugging, Eren made his way to the lockers, entering to find the glass panel already removed and one of the suits missing.

_It really is different,_ he mused, _getting ready on your own._ Not that he could place what, exactly, the difference was, or even if it was good. _I mean, not having every action of mine scrutinized is nice, right? And if Rivaille's not here, I can't get distracted by him…_ Still, it all felt very much_off_.

Anxious to get out of the empty locker room- were those GenVI suits there? Huh-, Eren began walking with several straps still unhitched, doing them up as he followed the grill to the piloting chamber. Rivaille was already inside and prepared, all connections to the machine already in place. He didn't greet Eren when he entered, and Eren's stomach dropped as he locked himself into the jaeger as well.

"_Preparing neural drift sequence. Drift sequence activate in 3… 2… 1… Neural drift complete." _The astoundingly familiar (he'd only done this once, should it really feel so much like home?) sensation of Rivaille's mind and the jaeger's machinery pressed on Eren.

"_Hello Eren," _said Commander Smith's voice over the comm. "_This is just a training session- you'll only be out an hour, because I know you were working hard this morning, but we need you and Rivaille to be in best shape soon."_

Eren could have sworn he heard Rivaille snort.

"_In any case, we'll drop in five… four… three… two… one. Have fun out there!" _The comm cut out as a lurch in Eren's stomach signified their downwards drop, another jolt bringing them to a stop before picking up horizontal speed, crossing out under the walls. As they were transported, Eren tried to reach out for Rivaille through his mind- he had no idea what he was doing, but he figured that if he thought hard enough, Rivaille would notice.

Right?

_Oi, shitty brat, I can feel you thinking. …and your concern. I'm fine, okay? They were just my friends._ In those few seconds, Eren felt a wave of emotion emanating from Rivaille, but it was quickly shut down, returning to quiet background noise. _And stop being so fucking guilty, they knew what they were getting into. Thinking it's all on you is so fucking useless. _Eren decided to drop it, and focus instead on their practice run.

The rays of sunshine glittered brightly over _Freedom Wing_'s head as she came up. In sync, Eren and Rivaille stepped forward, the giant mechanical figure copying their motions. They ran for a bit, 'loosening up' according to Rivaille, and then, finding a nice, flat area, Rivaille told Eren that they were going to practice spinning.

Eren watched as Rivaille tapped the command screen, clicking a series of buttons. His brow furrowed a bit, until he felt the machine around him extend claws into the ground. He directed a mental question mark at Rivaille.

"Those are to keep _Freedom Wing _planted while we go at it," he said aloud, adding a mental _I'm not supposed to mindspeak, so here's to throw them off._ "Normally, we would spin while in motion- jumping, usually- but for a first run we'll spin stationary, and the centrifugal force will topple her if we're not careful."

"Ah," Eren replied, the mental imagery supplied by Rivaille clearing up the whole affair.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Eren watched for a second as Rivaille shifted his weight, centering himself as he had in the dance studio. The jaeger, having been manually locked in place, didn't copy his motions, even when Eren joined in.

_Now,_ Rivaille said, and as one, they stepped forward, swinging their back legs around. Eren immediately felt the toll of the weight he wasn't used to swinging with him, and had to stop after only one revolution.

"Tsk. Is that all?" Rivaille snorted. Eren frowned.

"This is a lot harder-"

"I know it is. But trust the jaeger. Fall _into_ your harness, and it'll move with you easier. Shitty brat."

Eren nodded, psyching himself to ignore Rivaille and give it another go. This time, he grudgingly obeyed Rivaille's instruction, and did, in fact, find it easier- and _Freedom Wing_ herself began to spin as well.

It was exhilarating.

"HaHA!" he shouted, and he could have almost sworn he saw the corner of Rivaille's mouth twitch.

"Well done, kid, you managed to make her spin once." Even with Rivaille's emotionless manner of speech, Eren couldn't miss the sarcasm. He made a grumbling noise.

"Whatever, can we try again?" he asked. Rivaille huffed, but acquiesced. They continued practicing for another half hour, at which point their comms crackled online.

"_Rivaille, Eren, your hour is almost up. We need you back at the hatch in ten minutes._"

"Roger," Rivaille said, retracing the jaeger lock sequence and retracting the claws. They set off again, large, bounding mechanical steps stirring up dust and dirt in their wake. And there, in the periphery, Eren could feel- almost _see_- thoughts and images and sound bytes that weren't his own, and closer, forming a wall between him and the memories, an ironclad force of steel-eyes will. Eren only hoped there were no lagomorph kaiju waiting to tear that wall down.

They arrived back with no further incident, and Eren was dismissed with an hour until lunch. He meandered to his room, the hours of morning conditioning catching up with his most recent escapade in the jaeger and dragging his eyelids downwards. He fell asleep, and didn't wake up until the next morning (at which point he was seriously mad at Armin for not getting him dinner) ("Sasha ate it" was his [unfortunately completely believable] excuse).

After breakfast, they headed to morning tactics (Mikasa was muttering something about not taking Eren out of class again), only to find the door locked a crowd beginning to for outside it. Everyone was milling about in various states of confusion, when finally, after a few minutes, Mike appeared. The hubbub grew louder, until Mike whistled sharply, causing those closest to him to cover their ears and everyone to shut up.

"Right, now that I have your attention: the GenVI jaegers are officially off-production, and awaiting their piloting teams. We're meeting in the auditorium in five minutes for official announcements. Dismissed!" It took a moment for the collective psyche to process what Mike had said, and he was already halfway down the hall on swift steps when the class began talking animatedly once again. Realistically, only very few of them actually had a chance at being pilots, and even then, not everyone wanted to. Most wanted simply to be engineers, but a few wanted to work in the military police.

They moved as a group towards the auditorium, Eren finding a comfortable seat in the fifth row, flanked by Armin and Mikasa. It was dark within, and they lowered their voices accordingly, becoming a low murmur. After a few minutes of waiting, lights blinked on at the front, and Commander Smith stepped up, microphone in one hand and piece of paper in the other.

He cleared his voice, tapped on the mic, and then looked out into the crowd. "As I'm sure you're all well aware, the GenVI jaegers have just come off production. As you are also aware, we conducted compatibility tests recently-" Eren furrowed his brow and leaned over to Armin, who whispered 'When you were training with Rivaille' to him. "-and we will be using those results to account for pair-ups as of right now.

"Before that, though, I should mention that none of the GenVI have names as of yet- partnered pilots will be allowed twenty-four hours to come up with names, which will be submitted to us for review, and eventually all jaegers will be customized. Those of you not selected as pilots have the choice of joining the military police, if your grades are high enough, or of joining the engineers and becoming part of the jaeger support teams." He looked out at the crowd once more before continuing.

"And now, I'll be reading off the lists of paired pilots. Sasha Braus and Connie Springer." Pause- Eren saw Sasha and Connie making faces at eat other, clearly excited. "Krista Lenz and Ymir." There were a few whistles in the crowd at this one- it was common knowledge that the two were basically head over heels for one another. Krista hid her face in her hands while Ymir pumped the air. "Next, Mikasa Ackerman and Annie Leonhardt." Eren glanced over to Mikasa. Her face was blank- no one really quite understood the relationship between her and Annie, but most assumed it wasn't favorable. "Reiner Braun and Berthold Hoover." There were a few more whistles- their relationship wasn't as obvious as Ymir and Krista's, but there was a very solid suspicion as to the truth. Berthold looked like he would rather be anywhere else but there, while Reiner had a large, happy grin on his face. "And finally, Jean Kirstein and Marco Bodt." Jean, Eren was pleased to note, looked rather shell-shocked- _haha, the jerk can't even go to the military police, now! Too much compatibility, huh?_ Marco, on the other hand, was smiling shyly, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Good, now that all the pilots have been announced, I expect everyone in the new command stations in fifteen minutes! We will be getting the pilots into their jaegers and letting the command crew have their first live-fire shot at it. Dismissed!"

The room burst into noise as the lights flickered on, and the group moved as one, heading towards the new command station.

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Full title: "Rise of the GenVI, or: in which Jean's dreams are crushed (Ymir's, not so much)"

Also yeah idk it's probably cause I'm stupid or something but even though I'm the author and I KNOW that "GenVI" is pronounced "Generation Six" or "Gen six", I always end up saying "Ghen-four-i". IT'S NOT EVEN A FRICKING ROMAN FOUR DAMNIT.


	12. What's in a Name

"I'd better go find Annie," Mikasa grumbled as they neared the command center. Armin nodded, scanning the crowd, while Eren playfully punched Mikasa's shoulder.

"Have fun!" he said, only half-sarcastically. "Seriously though, piloting a jaeger- it's great." Mikasa gave him a look he couldn't read and pulled her scarf up to cover her nose.

"She's over there," Armin announced, distracting them both and pointing out the blonde head on the far side of the group. Mikasa let out a sigh.

"See you guys later," she said as she walked away, weaving through the people in her path. Eren huffed, and Armin turned to him, eyebrows raised.

"Well, it looks like Mike is leading the pilots down to the lockers… what are you going to do?"

Eren shrugged. "I don't know… I don't see Rivaille anywhere, so-"

"Eren!" Eren turned to see Hanji waving frantically at him, pointing at both him and Armin and beckoning. Eren motioned for Armin to follow him over to her.

"Hi, Hanji. This is-"

"Arlert, Armin, right?" she cut in. "I've heard about you…" she squinted at Armin, who shifted nervously, then readjusted her glasses. "Erwin told me you were going to be assigned to alternate Kaiju Watch, in case I'm not available. Basically, you get to be my aide!" She slapped Armin on the shoulder, seemingly thoroughly excited about the whole affair (not that that was far from her usual state of being). Armin, for his part, looked somewhat shaken, a mixture between confused and excited.

"Hey, you'll do great," Eren said, patting his friend's shoulder. Then he turned to Hanji. "Um, is there anything I should be…?"

"Hmm… is Rivaille not here?" she asked with a furrow in her brow. When Eren shook his head, she sighed. "Alright, go talk to Erwin, he'll have something for you to do." She beckoned Armin then, and Eren left before she launched into explanation about how the devices were supposed to be used- not that Eren could imagine Armin would need that. The Kaiju Watch station had received maybe ten minutes of coverage in class (there was only one, and since it involved some insanely complicated equations, few could manage it) but Eren was certain that Armin had memorized all that information and was more than fully capable of acting on it. That was how he was.

Eren spotted Commander Smith on the other side of the room, and began to make his way over there- the command station was much more full now- but before he could, Smith picked up the mic and tapped it twice, the noise echoing over the loudspeakers and quieting everyone. Eren stopped walking.

"Right, now that you're all here- first things first, we need you to divide yourselves evenly into five groups, one for each jaeger. Kirschstein and Bodt's is over there, Leonhardt and Ackerman's there, Springer and Braus here, Lenz and Ymir's here, and finally, Braun and Hoover's in that corner over there. We highly suggest choosing a pilot team that you get along with, although we realize this will not be possible. Moblit, Auruo, and I will be coming around to make sure every station has been covered."

As people began to move across the room, Eren positioned himself against a wall, trying to facilitate the movements of people as much as possible. When Smith passed near him, however, he was spurred to action.

"Commander Smith!" Smith turned, meeting Eren's gaze. "Sorry sir, but I don't know what I should do. I haven't seen Rivai-, er, Corporal Rivaille anywhere, and-"

"Ah, yes," Smith said, nodding to himself. "Rivaille won't be here today, but since you two will eventually be out keystone team-" Eren winced internally as Smith word drove a pang of guilt deep into his stomach "-we can't assign you to man one of the GenVI stations. You can simply hang around here for the time being." He waited to see Eren's nod of assent (well, resignation) before turning and continuing on his way.

Eren stayed where he was for a few seconds, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Finally, he decided to look out of the large windows leading to the jaegers- they were clear for now, not showing any holograms just yet. He watched as the piloting teams walked out together onto the boardwalk, splitting off at their respective jaegers. Mikasa was wearing a deep golden suit, matching the metallic sheen of her jaeger. Annie, a few inches shorter, followed right behind her.

Eren refocused his attention back to the others- Jean and Marco in indigo, Ymir and Krista in bright red, Connie and Sasha deck in sky blue, and Reiner and Berthold in a green that was not (in Eren's own unbiased opinion) nearly as gorgeous as _Freedom Wing_'s. As of yet, none of the jaegers had crests or names inscribed onto their chest panels.

"Alright," said Smith over the loudspeaker. "The pilots are locked in, and teams have been finalized- engage neural handshake at will."

A small hubbub began as teams called out to each other, synchronizing everything and beginning drifts. Eren felt an intense longing to be down in _Freedom Wing'_s command pod, but shook it off, wandering over to where Armin and Hanji were deep in discussion about something.

"-but what if the f-variable was changed? That could explain the dysfunctional calibration in the peripheral-"

"Armin you're a genius! Well of course you are, Erwin said so, but hmm, let me just-" she began furiously typing, and Eren took a few more steps closer, lingering just beyond Armin's chair. Armin noticed the movement, tilting his head inquiringly at Eren.

"Smith didn't have any work for me to do," he said, shrugging by way of explanation. "And Rivaille's not here either, nor gonna show up, I guess…"

Armin made a sympathetic noise, then patted an empty chair on his other side. "Why don't you come and sit down? We can both look at the monitor. It'll give you something to do at least." Eren smiled gratefully, sitting down.

Digitalized _'drop initiating in'_ voices began to ring, followed by the loud grinds of gears as they slowly lowered 30-some-ton metal behemoths into the transportation chambers. Eren leaned back in his chair, eyes tracking the five yellow points as they moved into an empty screen- no kaiju, then. He opened his mouth to comment to Armin, but the latter was occupied with talking complicated stuff that Eren had no inclination of understanding with Hanji, so Eren closed his mouth and settled himself to be bored.

The next half hour seemed to inch by incredibly slowly, with everyone else having work to do except for Eren. He rejoiced when he heard Smith put in the call for the jaegers to return, and couldn't help but feel slighted as everyone went about congratulating the newly returned pilots, asking them questions (not that Eren wasn't curious, it was just that… well, he had been _first) _that carried through lunch and afternoon tactics (afternoon conditioning having been replaced with tactics due to the pilots' workload) and eventually dinner down to the rec hall, where Mike was waiting to take names for the jaeger.

In a no-nonsense fashion that Eren had come to associate with her, Annie made eye contact with Mikasa once, who nodded, before walking up to Mike and saying something.

"Hey, we can't hear!" someone shouted from the back of the growing crowd, and Mike looked up.

"Ackerman and Leonhardt have chosen the name _Topaz Maelstrom_- if you were on their command crew today, remember that name for next time, because the stations will be labeled under that name!" There were a couple of whoops in the crowd, from people Eren assumed were the command crew for the newly-christened _Topaz Maelstrom._ _Fitting name for the jaeger, she's got that color…_ he thought.

"Nice name," he said at Mikasa. She looked at him blankly, then acknowledged him.

"Mm. I suppose it is."

"How'd you guys choose it?" Armin asked from Mikasa's other side.

"I liked the word maelstrom, and she liked topaz. We compromised." The conversation would have continued, but they were interrupted by Mike's booming voice once more.

"Braun and Hoover command crew- you are now serving the _Aegis Colossi_, that's _Aegis_ spelled with a e."

"Interesting name," Eren thought he heard Armin mutter.

"What's it mean?" he whispered over.

"Oh, nothing, it's just a name from an old storybook I read once- something about protecting. They must be taking their job seriously," Armin replied. Both turned to look back at the designated 'front'- where Mike was- as two voices were raised ever louder.

"No, we can't name it that!"

"Oh come on, Sasha, it'll be great!"

"I really don't think they'll allow it, Connie!"

"I'm gonna tell him!"

"No! Don't! That's-"

"Mr. Mike sir, we would like to name our jaeger _Sneaky Dickgrabber!_" Connie pronounced, seemingly rather proud. Next to him, Sasha was alternating between an expression of grudging amusement and total mortification. Half the room was shouting, and Mike was simply staring at Connie.

"No," he said without inflection, causing Connie to appear crestfallen. Then he brightened back up.

"Okay, what about, _The Springer_?" he asked, sweeping the air for dramatic effect. Mike opened his mouth to answer, but Sasha interjected.

"I want 'sprinkles' in there somewhere, though!"

"Okay… then what about _Springer Sprinkles?"_

"Nah, that's too long…" Sasha paused for a moment, but the room remained relatively quiet, as everyone was curious as to what _Sneaky Dickgrabber_ was actually going to end up called. "What about… oh! _Springles!_"

Connie pondered that for a moment, then clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "_Springles. _I like it! Mr. Mike sir, we would like to name our jaeger _Springles!_ Like Springer and sprinkles combined."

"Alright… _Springles_ command crew, you got that?"

"I think it's the _Sneaky Dickgrabber_ command crew, sir!" some shouted, causing everyone to burst out laughing. Judging by Mike's face, he wasn't too amused by that, though if Connie's grin was any indication, _some_ goal had been achieved.

"Right, right, whatever. Bodt, Kirschstein, name?"

Jean stepped forward, hand half-raised. "_Delta Mustang_, sir!"

As Mike wrote the name down, Eren turned to Armin and Mikasa. "Heh, _Mustang_ suits him- he's got such a horseface, I'm sure people will mistake_him_ for the mustang!"

"Be nice," Armin retorted, but couldn't stop a grin from showing. Finally, Eren saw Ymir move (or rather, her move other people out of the way.

"Me and Krista's will be called _Acrobat Historica,_" she drawled, looking at Krista the whole time. Krista, to her credit, returned the gaze, and Mike muttered something as he scribbled the name down.

"Right, everyone, listen up! Tomorrow, instead of morning conditioning, you will report to the new command station, understood? We want you to have as much practice as possible before we send you up against any actual kaiju!" There were several mumbles of 'got it' and the like, and then Mike dismissed them. The crowd dispersed, everyone taking up spots in the rec room. Armin had pulled out a deck of cards, and as several more people joined the game, Eren couldn't help but wonder what he was going to be doing tomorrow, if Rivaille didn't show again. .

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Full title: "Rise of the GenVI, or: in which Jean's dreams are crushed (Ymir's, not so much)"

First off, a HUGE-ASS THANK YOU to everyone who gave me name suggestions for the GenVI- I responded to most of you personally, but I would just like to thank you all one more time (I basically came up with no names on my own, so ^^;)  
Anyways, I made a tumblr post about the jaeger names and my rationale for why I chose those I did, you can find it under the tag 'freedom wing' if you are so inclined :) along with my Ao3 updates which I am currently working on bring here to ffn SO SORRY DEAR READERS SO SORRY


	13. Coffee, Tattoos, and Friendship

Rivaille was awoken once again by the beeping of his alarm. He glared at it for a couple of seconds, then, accepting the fact that he would eventually have to wake up, rolled over to his stomach, hitting the off button. He rolled back onto his back, arching into the air and stretching his muscles, still tense from sleep.

Releasing the tension, he collapsed into the mattress, arms splayed, and gazed up at the ceiling. His brows came together and he exhaled a mild tsk. A spider had made its home against one of the metal plates, and while Rivaille had nothing against spiders, the thought of a cobweb on his ceiling irked him.

He remained laying down, however, lost in thought. The new recruits had split into their own teams two nights ago; Erwin had told him that the numbers had worked out shockingly well, and Hanji had even been able to take one of them under her wing. _Poor bastard_. Mike had told him about _Sneaky Dickgrabber_ last night, and while it was crude, Rivaille couldn't help but feel that aligned quite closely to his own sense of humor. He wondered, with no real interest, how good the new recruits were. Supposedly all of them were in the top ten overall, except for one. _Right, because you took Eren._

At the thought of his partner, Rivaille shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the badly-done sewing job on a pillowcase corner. If he was honest with himself (he tried to be, really, it wasn't his fault if sometimes a small white lie smoothed everything over, was it?) (_small_ white lie, his ass) he'd been ignoring the kid. Eren hadn't done anything to deserve the cold-shouldered treatment Rivaille knew he was giving. It was Rivaille's fault.

That thought brought a foul taste to his tongue. So many things were Rivaille's fault. Too many. If only he'd-

Rivaille clenched his jaw, turning his focus elsewhere.

Three days, was it? Since he'd last gone out in _Freedom Wing_. He missed her. There was something about the feel of the jaeger, the mechanical muscles working in tandem with his being, a natural high that never wore off. The benefits that came with it- killing kaiju, knowing that maybe his actions would save others from death (_oh, if that isn't irony_, said a sneering voice deep within him)- well, those were nice, as well. And his partner-

Well, there was a piece of work. Rivaille hadn't let himself reflect too much on Eren's memories. They were Eren's, after all, and not freely given. Rivaille wondered if he should ever ask about them. Clearly the kid had some heady recollections, rivaling Rivaille's own (a small, selfish voice insisted that Rivaille's were bigger, worse, more tragic). He seemed otherwise fine- his drive to kill kaiju was overpowering, flooding through the drift constantly, powerful and (though of course Rivaille would never tell him) energizing.

_What would he do if I let down the walls?_

Rivaille snorted. Hanji and Erwin were the only two who knew the full extent of Rivaille's past. Auruo, Erd, and Günther (a twinge of pain) knew more concretely than most. What gave Eren the right to know his past, after not even a week of actually knowing his name?

_He _is _your co-pilot. Didn't you always tell your team that you can only pilot successfully if you trust one another?_ Rivaille groaned, flipping onto his stomach and burying his face in his pillow. Why did everything have to be such a struggle for him? Only it wasn't everything; just when things came to, well, _feelings_. Yeah. Rivaille was shit with feelings.

He heard footsteps in the hall outside his room, and raised an eyebrow in surprise when they stopped in front of his door. Once he heard keys instead of a knock, however, Rivaille groaned, making sure his face was deep into the pillow. The door swooshed (that was good, he wouldn't be needing to oil it yet), and footsteps entered his room.

There was a moment of silence.

"Come on, Riri, your alarm is off I know you're awake," Hanji said, making the rest of the trip to his bed and sitting down on the side. Rivaille flipped over and sat up.

"What if I'd fallen back asleep?"

"You're Rivaille, you don't sleep on your stomach," she said, handing him the mug she'd brought with her. Rivaille took it, sniffing appreciatively.

"Do I even _want_ to know how you know that?" He took a sip of the steaming coffee, savoring it.

"Probably not. How's the coffee?"

"S'good. Thanks." Rivaille took a few more sips, the two of them sitting in comfortable silence. Hanji scratched absently at one arm, rustling a bandage Rivaille hadn't previously noticed. "Did you get a new tattoo?"

"Eh? Oh, yeah, I had it done yesterday. Not really new, just finally decided I had enough time to finish up the shading on them." Rivaille nodded absently. The swirling green had looked pretty shaded to him, but then again, this _was_ Hanji, and with Hanji, all bets were off. A few more seconds of silence passed, until finally Rivaille caved in.

"Alright, cut the crap, why are you here?"

"You haven't been downstairs for coffee in almost three days. I thought you could use some."

Rivaille blinked. "I've gone after breakfast is over." Hanji shook her head.

"You know full well what I mean, Rivaille." Rivaille looked down at the mug, swirling the dark liquid. Yes, he knew exactly what Hanji meant- he hadn't eaten a meal with anyone since… well, since Erd and Günther's deaths (and ouch, did that hurt to even think). Because yeah, they were_dead_, and Rivaille didn't think he could bear to be reminded of that every time he sat down to eat. Empty chairs were only salt in an open, bleeding wound.

Hanji scooted closer, and an arm found itself around Rivaille's shoulder. Before he had time to process, he'd already leaned into her touch, and she squeezed lightly, warmth emanating onto Rivaille's back. "I know you're feeling horrible, Riri. But you're not the only one." Rivaille stopped swirling the cup, uncertain of where Hanji was going but already decided he didn't really want to hear any of it.

"Look at Auruo. Who's he got now? Me. Mike. _You_, Rivaille. Hell, who else've _I_ got, Riri?" Hanji took a deep breath, as if to steady herself, and Rivaille felt a pang of guilt worm its way into his chest. "And I'm not trying to belittle your grief, but-"

"It reminds me of Petra," Rivaille said, quickly hiding his frown behind the mug, the bitter taste of coffee soothing him slightly. Hanji's arm pulled his closer to her (something for which he was secretly grateful). "And I don't… it's…mm." Rivaille let his sentence trail off, choosing to concentrate instead on the consumption of his beverage.

"I know. I know. Petra was also my best friend, you know. I still miss her. And now, Erd and Günther as well." Hanji let out a dry, humorless chuckle. "We think we've seen it all, don't we. We signed up to work with the damn kaiju, to fight in the damn jaegers. They get destroyed almost faster than the factory towns can make them. And yet, we're always shocked, whenever anybody dies." She leaned her head back, arm still wrapped around Rivaille. "We should be used to it by now. But. It still fucking hurts. And you know? The cruelest thing about it, is that we have to move on. Keep fighting." She paused, looking at Rivaille. He schooled his face into blankness out of habit (he knew Hanji saw through his masks, anyway). "But we can't do that alone."

Rivaille tilted his head back, finishing off the coffee. He ran his tongue over his teeth once. Hanji remained quiet, and Rivaille allowed the silence to continue for another few, long seconds. "Yeah, fine, Miss Shitty Glasses. I'll come to breakfast with you," he said finally.

"Wonderful," Hanji said, a sad smile stretching across her face. She squeezed him one last time, then let him go. He got up, rummaged in his drawers for new clothes, then went to the bathroom, showering (less thoroughly than he'd've liked) and dressing.

He reflected on Hanji's talk as he did so. _Maybe she's right_, he thought. _Maybe… I don't have to go through this alone. _Wouldn't that be nice.

_Fucking four-eyes and her fucking intelligence._

Rivaille strode out of the bathroom, feeling better than he had in days. His hair was still wet, and the longer portion clung to his undercut, water dripping down the nape of his neck.

"You ready?" he asked Hanji, who gently set back the picture she'd taken off the shelf and stood up. She reached and brushed a few of the droplets off, eyes glinting mischievously.

"Ready! And Riri, I forgot to mention! Guess who has been looking over at our table at least once every five minutes? _Every_ meal?" Rivaille groaned as Hanji's enthusiasm returned.

"Please not who I think it is?"

"Oh come one, poor kid's seriously worried about you!"

"Shitty brat."

"You're so mean, Riri!"

Rivaille snorted. "Being nice never got me anywhere."

"It got you to be friends with meeee," Hanji said winningly. Rivaille snorted louder.

"Should've been meaner, then," he grumbled, but his eyes were soft. Hanji drew herself up, acting supremely offended, but the smile on her lips showed she wasn't taking what Rivaille said to heart (a wonderful aspect of their friendship, he thought).

They came into the cafeteria during the last couple of minutes. Rivaille quickly grabbed another coffee and found some biscuits that didn't look all that bad, then made his way to the usual table. The empty spaces tugged at his heart, but Mike and Auruo looked happy enough to see him, and Rivaille even allowed a grin to show through as he sat down, greeting them for the first time in days. Mike smiled back understandingly, Auruo a little broken but nonetheless trying to be happy.

Suddenly, Hanji cackled, motioning with her head to something behind Rivaille. Rivaille turned, and was greeted by Eren's approaching form.

"Rivaille! You're back!" Rivaille snorted. Eren seemed far too happy for his own good, and was that relief Rivaille saw?

"What do you want, shitty brat?"

Eren faltered. "I- eh?"

"Are you going to answer?" Rivaille managed to keep his face straight as Eren looked ever more like a positively lost puppy, but judging by the noises at the rest of his table, the others were having a hard time holding in their laughter.

"Er, right, I, um. Just wanted to say hi."

"Hi."

"…hi." Eren waited for a few seconds, then motioned to leave. "Erm, I'll just. Be going then."

"Wait, Er- Jaeger." To his credit, Eren froze mid-step, peering inquisitively in Rivaille's direction. "We'll go out with the others, today. Afternoon, right?"

The transformation on Eren's face was almost comical, he looked so happy. "Yessir! Afternoon!"

"Good," Rivaille said, turning back to his table. Hanji was still giggling.

"Riri, that kid's got it bad for you, huh?" she said, elbowing him and raising her eyebrows suggestively. Mike joined in the giggling- although Rivaille wasn't sure if that even counted as giggling, with his deep voice.

"Shut up, shitty glasses." Hanji hummed happily, and Rivaille turned his attention back to his breakfast.

_I won't have to do this alone_, he thought. It was a nice thought.

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Full title: "Coffee, Tattoos, and Friendship, or: Hanji"

Hanji and Levi are my brotp of brotps can u tell

Also because I don't know how well I communicated this: it's been three days since Erd and Günther died, two since the end of last chapter. So yeah...


	14. Rite of Passage

Mmke with this ffn is not caught up with Ao3 once again ^^

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Tactics passed at a snail's pace for Eren. He doodled a spiral onto the margin of his notebook, adding a wavy line underneath. He groaned, head leaning heavily into his hand as he glanced again at the clock. He squinted at it. _Oh, good,_ he thought. _At least the fucking _seconds_ hand moved._

He jolted as a finger poked him roughly in the side. "_Ow_," he muttered pointedly, glaring at Armin. "The hell was that for?"

"Eren, you heard what Commander Smith said!" Armin whispered back. "You and Corporal Rivaille are one of the most important jaeger teams, you can't _not_ pay attention to the group tactics-" Armin fell silent, catching a glance from the instructor. He scribbled onto a piece of paper, tore it off, and passed it to Eren.

_Those could save your life!_

Eren tsk'd softly. _yea I know but honestly Rivaille knows it all why do I have to bother even_

Armin took back the sheet, frowning and adding something else before passing it to Mikasa. The paper tarried with her for a while, but it was eventually handed back to Eren.

_That's not an excuse, Eren. He knows better than most that things happen. Tell him, Mikasa! You'll be out there too, after all._

_Eren I really have to second Armin here for all we know the shorty could get eaten or something also you cant just rely on him all the time thats not safe and I wont be there to protect you Ill have to be in my own jaeger_

_Exactly. You have to learn this stuff!_

Eren glared at them, scratching a _whatever_ onto the page, grudgingly focusing on the board in front of the classroom, taking in the diagrams and various formations. Yeah, no, he was going to forget this in five minutes. Tilting his head, he snuck the clock another look.

Two minutes had passed.

_I'm never gonna make it._

The phrase "saved by the bell" had never resonated quite so much with Eren before. The second it rang, he was on his feet, notebook and pencil already put away, and the only reason he didn't sprint to the cafeteria was the knowledge that that wouldn't change the speed at which lunch was dismissed. Instead, he settled for shifting his weight from foot to foot, impatiently awaiting Mikasa and Armin.

"You're not going to get to see him any sooner even if we speedwalk," Armin said as he approached and Eren turned to move.

"I- what?!" Eren sputtered. "I don't- what?! I want to pilot my jaeger-" (when, he wondered, had it become _his_ and not _the_?) "-and get better at that so I can destroy the kaiju!" Seeing Rivaille wasn't even on the list of reasons. Nope.

Well maybe a little.

But Armin didn't need to know that. (From the raised eyebrow he got in return, Eren could only assume that Armin already knew) (Eren huffed).

"Can we just go?" Eren groaned. Armin smiled at him, and even Mikasa allowed a small grin as they headed down to the mess hall and acquired lunch. Eren wolfed his down, holding stunted conversation around mouthfuls.

"You excited, Mikasa?"

Mikasa pulled her scarf tighter, fiddling with the ends. "I guess… piloting is really cool. But…" her eyes darted over to the table where Annie, Berthold, and Reiner were eating, and then she shrugged.

Armin's eyes narrowed a bit, a sign that he was calculating something. Eren almost asked what, but was jolted from the sides by Connie and Sasha squeezing in on either side of him. Sasha reached out towards Mikasa's food, a pleading look on her face (which Mikasa didn't- couldn't?- refuse), while Connie began talking to Eren.

"So are you and Corporal gonna join us today?"

"Mmhm," Eren mumbled around a mouthful of stewed potato.

"Cool… I really want to see you guys fight, I've heard _Freedom Wing_ has a special fighting style and everything…" he left his sentence hanging, prompting Eren to finish it. Eren nodded.

"Yeah, we do." He couldn't help the note of pride creeping into his voice. "It's super-effective, too!" Or at least, Eren thought it was… not that he'd ever actually killed a kaiju yet. His mouth twitched slightly into a frown. For some reason, he'd always pictured himself become a pilot and then immediately wiping out as many of the beasts as he could; clearly, reality wasn't going to comply with his wishes.

"Well?" Connie asked. "Are you gonna say what it is?"

"Naw, that's a surprise!" Eren said, grinning.

"Ey that's not fair!"

"Suck it, Connie. Anyways, I'm going to go to the bathroom now," Eren said, standing up awkwardly and shoving Connie and Sasha sideways a bit, so he'd have room to get out.

Depositing his tray back on the return stack, Eren left the mess hall. There were bathrooms inside, of course; but they were also the _mess hall _bathrooms. When given other options, it was generally the other option that got chosen. In this case, Eren had the perfect other option- the bathrooms in the piloting locker rooms. Sure, they were far away, but… well, he had to go down there anyways to change into his suit; he'd just do that earlier, and be prepared by the time Rivaille arrived.

The hallways were almost eerily quiet for a shatterdome of that size- only the lunch crew was still around (Eren almost wished he were lunch crew- because there were few of them, and they were willing to wait an extra hour for food, they often got specially prepared, _good_ food). Eren's footsteps rang too loudly in his ears, and he was relieved by the time he arrived at the lockers.

He made a beeline for the bathroom, swinging open the door with more decorum than was strictly necessary-

-and found himself looking down on a handkerchief'd Rivaille.

"Uh," Eren said.

Rivaille straightened up from where he had been kneeling, scrubbing the white-tiled wall, and pulled the handkerchief off his nose, letting it slide to his neck.

"If you're here to take a shit, use the last stall. I haven't disinfected that one yet."

"I- okay." Eren felt a blush begin to creep up his neck, and he shuffled to the last stall. He fumbled with his zipper, and outside he heard the distinctive noise of a spray can being used, followed up shortly by the sounds of scrubbing.

_What_, exactly, Rivaille was scrubbing was a mystery, as the walls had seemed perfectly clean before. The stall was also spotless, even given that it was in the lockers and not the mess hall. In fact, it almost looked-

"But if you _are_ taking a shit, don't miss. I _did_ already wipe it down, you know."

"…why?" The question was the only thing that came to mind as Eren finished up, tucking himself back in and flushing. He walked out of the stall, greeted by several cans of cleaning product followed by Rivaille, who got right to work cleaning the space Eren had just vacated.

"What do you _mean_, 'why', you shitty brat? Don't you care about hygiene?" Rivaille paused, giving Eren a very obvious once-over. "Tch, I don't suppose you do."

"Hey! I keep clean!" Eren argued, hastening to wash his hands.

"Whatever, brat. Don't drip water onto the edges of the sink. And go get dressed, the dismissal bell's almost rung."

Making an exaggerated show of not dripping water as he reached for the towel (this earned his a flicker in Rivaille's eyes; what that flicker _meant _was an unknown), Eren grunted in assent and exited the bathrooms. The bell could be heard ringing dimly in the distance as Eren approached the glass panel in front of their suits, and looked for a place to pull the panel open. At some point, he accidentally brushed against it, but then the glass lit up, asking for his fingerprint. He pressed his thumb to the center of the projected circle, and the panel smoothly swished off to the side, allowing Eren access to the circuitry suit and the armor.

He hummed contentedly as he stripped and pulled on the circuitry suit- just like last time, it fit him perfectly, snug in all the right places. He jumped a little when Rivaille appeared (how had he learned to walk so quietly?), but busied himself with making sure his armor was strapped correctly and sneaking as many glances as he thought he could manage (without getting caught) of Rivaille in a skintight smoke-and-gold suit.

The others arrived just as Eren was pulling on his boots. He fistbumped Mikasa on his way out, noting absently that the armor she was handling now had a crest on it.

His anticipation mounted as he approached the giant head of the jaeger, and he found himself shifting impatiently for the second time that day. Next to him, Rivaille was impassive, merely standing at parade rest with helmet in hand. Finally, they received the clear to hook themselves in and begin the drift.

For all that the time previously hadn't passed fast enough, his time in the jaeger felt like nothing. Two spins, maybe twenty- tactical formations? Rivaille was dictating direction, and Eren was content to follow- and a light-hearted race with the other teams (Ymir and Krista, with _Acrobat Historica_, came in first, but _Freedom Wing_ was a close second and Eren was fairly certain _Acrobat_ had had a head start), and then the dreaded 'time to come back in' crackled over the comms.

Each jaeger headed to her respective entry hatch, and Eren watched wistfully as the ground rose up around _Freedom Wing._

_There'll be more time on other days_, Rivaille said over the drift. Eren looked at him for a moment, before raising his eyes again with a noise of agreement. Those days couldn't come soon enough.

They were the last to arrive back, and consequently the last two in the locker rooms as well. Just as Eren was pulling on his shirt while heading for the door (his suit had already been put away), Rivaille called him.

(((***)))

"Oi, brat, wait a moment," Rivaille called. Eren paused, looking back with a quizzical expression. Rivaille rummaged in his right pocket, fingers finally alighting on his sought item. It tinkled faintly as he pulled it out, looking over it once more before extending his hand in Eren's direction.

Eren, seeing it was meant for him, came closer to Rivaille, and reached out to take it- or, more correctly, them. The dog tags clinked together as Eren brought them closer to his eyes, running a finger over the embossed name and, on the second tag, double-winged crest.

"Are these…?"

"They've got your fucking name on it, of course it's yours," Rivaille said, but with no menace. Eren continued his inspection, nonplussed. "You're a soldier now," Rivaille added. Eren looked up at that.

"Does everyone have them?"

In answer, Rivaille reached around his neck, lifting up the chain. Unbidden, Eren stepped closer, and Rivaille resisted the urge to hide his tags or step away.

"You've got two!" Quicker than Rivaille would have expected, Eren's hand shot out, and he himself stepped closer, fingers running over Rivaille's dog tags.

"Petra Ral…" The name was a murmur on Eren's lips as he read, and Rivaille felt the familiar clench in his chest that heralded it. "She was…?" The question was spoken softly, gently, and for once Rivaille didn't mind.

"Yes. She was."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

A few more seconds passed, then Eren returned the tags, stepping back. He ran his fingers over his own tags once more, then pulled them on over his neck, grinning stupidly. "The wings look even cooler on the dog tag!"

Rivaille snorted. "Whatever. Let's just go to dinner, shall we? Unless you're feeling constipated, at which point the toilets are over there," he said, pointing.

Eren huffed, seeming bemused. "Dinner sounds nice," he said, turning and beginning to leave. Rivaille followed him, flicking off the lights as he went. His thumb traced absently over the wings around his neck; once his own, once Petra's. Yes, he still missed her, but- he watched the form of the brown-haired soldier in front of him- now there were three pairs of wings in circulation.;:

Then his stomach growled loudly, breaking off any thoughts Rivaille might have had. Dinner _did_ sound nice, actually, he reflected. Then: _I wonder if there will still be any coffee left…_

((((((((((((((((*****************))))))))))))))

Full title: "Rite of Passage, or: Here are your dogtags, wear them well"

Someone asked about Hanji's tattoos, and I present you: . /_cb20130721070750/pacificrim/images/0/01/Newtons_ (remove parentheses) Newt's tattoos! :D Hanji's are very similar- the main differences would be wall-type pattern on her arms (upper arm, about halfway through is where the top edge of the wall would be, and the bottom gets cut off by more kaiju) and a vaguely more humanoid appearance to the kaiju (she is particularly fascinated by the bipedal ones). ((Yeah btw shoutout to minorthirds for the initial idea! :D))

Anyways! Um, OH YEAH. THERE WAS FANART IN the TAG AND I ASDFGH yeah :3 So y'all can go check that out if you're so inclined ^^

In regards to this chapter, I have no idea what I'm doing is basically the summary here? Yeah. Cool. :D :D :D :D /shot  
[it's almost 3am plz ignore my comments] [i could probably write so much better if i wasn't sleep-deprived i am so sorry i will try and sleep before next chapter gomen gomen]


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